The Republic of Secret admirer is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its burgeoning hawk population. The hard-working, cynical population of 4.954 billion Secret admirerians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 39.7%.

The strong Secret admirerian economy, worth 184 trillion rubledollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 37,274 rubledollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Crime is relatively low, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Secret admirer's national animal is the hawk.

Secret admirer is ranked 267,444^th in the world and 2,839^th in Hispano Germanic Alliance for Nudest, with 54 cheeks per square mile.