The Despotic Slaver Monarchy of Selfosia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Maxwell Pennington IV with an iron fist, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, avowedly heterosexual populace, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.393 billion Selfosians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Boden. The average income tax rate is 81.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Selfosian economy, worth 998 trillion Krasos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 185,082 Krasos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

The stratosphere is full of "silent but deadly" attacks from Maxwell Pennington IV's rear echelons, skyscrapers get built in just days, the nation's infamous rickshaw ambulances often double as hearses, and state officials tend to disappear after they forget to salute Maxwell Pennington IV's portrait. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Selfosia's national animal is the Selfosian Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christofacsim.

Selfosia is ranked 14,436^th in the world and 592^nd in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 94.81 law-abiding acts per hour.