by Max Barry

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The Red Hot Sizzler of Sexy Santa

“Red Hot Sandra” Grinch

Category: Moralistic Democracy
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Dealmaker

Location: Doll Guldur

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Sexy Santa

Population13.673 billion

CapitalBardufoss
LeaderGrinch
FaithJinglebellism

CurrencySilver Sixpences
AnimalReindeer

The Red Hot Sizzler of Sexy Santa is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Grinch with an even hand, and renowned for its ritual sacrifices, enslaved workforce, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 13.673 billion Sexy Santans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bardufoss. The average income tax rate is 87.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Sexy Santan economy, worth a remarkable 3,196 trillion Silver Sixpenceses a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 233,774 Silver Sixpenceses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Local officials love to claim the protection of their Big Brother, talking during class is a gateway to lifelong drug addiction, Coco the Clown has been elected to the nation's parliament, and the recently unemployed can often be seen at the local homeless shelter. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sexy Santa's national animal is the Reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Jinglebellism.

Sexy Santa is ranked 13,185th in the world and 5th in Doll Guldur for Most Stationary, with 1,919.28819526588 days.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 608thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,574thLargest Black Market: 1,665thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,861stTop
5%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,765thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,033rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4,565thMost Efficient Economies: 4,704thMost Corrupt Governments: 4,906thLargest Agricultural Sector: 6,477thHighest Average Incomes: 6,549thHighest Economic Output: 6,647thLargest Governments: 9,258thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 9,439thLowest Crime Rates: 10,924thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,232ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 11,985thHighest Average Tax Rates: 12,258thMost Stationary: 13,185thHighest Poor Incomes: 13,197thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 13,976thTop
10%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 15,768thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 16,093rdMost Influential: 20,211thMost Advanced Public Transport: 21,419thMost Beautiful Environments: 22,426thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 24,764thMost Devout: 25,506thLargest Mining Sector: 26,922ndLargest Retail Industry: 27,565thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 29,175th
Top
10%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Sexy Santa, the recently unemployed can often be seen at the local homeless shelter.
  • : Following new legislation in Sexy Santa, Coco the Clown has been elected to the nation's parliament.
  • : Sexy Santa was reclassified from "Iron Fist Consumerists" to "Moralistic Democracy".
  • : Following new legislation in Sexy Santa, talking during class is a gateway to lifelong drug addiction.
  • : Following new legislation in Sexy Santa, local officials love to claim the protection of their Big Brother.
  • : Following new legislation in Sexy Santa, tardiness has increased after carpooling was classified as a criminal offense.
  • : Sexy Santa was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Popular Tourist Destinations and Largest Retail Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Sexy Santa, territories have the right to secede if they aren't happy.
  • : Following new legislation in Sexy Santa, textbooks are exactly twice as heavy as they used to be.
  • : Following new legislation in Sexy Santa, councils up and down the country wrangle over legal matters.

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