by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Grand Duchy of Sexytopia

“Itís Easy”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Newcomer

Location: Lazarus



Population2.576 billion

CapitalNeighborhood Bowlingball
LeaderJojo Goldin


The Grand Duchy of Sexytopia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Jojo Goldin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, public floggings, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.576 billion Sexytopians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Neighborhood Bowlingball. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.3%.

The all-consuming Sexytopian economy, worth 332 trillion Jojoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 129,197 Jojoes, with the richest citizens earning 9.9 times as much as the poorest.

Jojo Goldin wears a chewed-up rubber chicken suit to meet foreign delegates, panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet, X-Files ratings have hit an all-time low, and unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sexytopia's national animal is the Siamang, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Jimism.

Sexytopia is ranked 19,096th in the world and 1,060th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 129,197.66 Standard Monetary Units.

Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,577thTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,896thMost Secular: 3,371stLargest Mining Sector: 5,034thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,655thLowest Crime Rates: 7,219thMost Advanced Public Education: 9,620thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 11,715thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,741stMost Authoritarian: 11,856thLargest Black Market: 12,033rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 13,077thHealthiest Citizens: 14,282ndMost Conservative: 14,767thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 16,544thLargest Governments: 16,968thLongest Average Lifespans: 17,010thMost Advanced Public Transport: 17,976thLargest Retail Industry: 18,612thHighest Average Incomes: 19,096thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 19,878thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 20,140thLargest Publishing Industry: 20,375thHighest Average Tax Rates: 20,518th
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 91st in the regionMost Secular: 160th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 163rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 257th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 307th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 365th in the regionTop
Most Authoritarian: 403rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 436th in the regionMost Conservative: 524th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 530th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 583rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 655th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 696th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 8 » Honeydewistania, Custadia, The Sigometh Dynasty, Demonos, Aguaria Major, Debussy, New Rogernomics, and Treadwellia.

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