by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Grand Duchy of Sexytopia

“Itís Easy”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
All-Consuming
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: Lazarus

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Sexytopia

Population1.987 billion

CapitalNeighborhood Bowlingball
LeaderJojo Goldin
FaithJimism

CurrencyJojo
AnimalSiamang

The Grand Duchy of Sexytopia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Jojo Goldin with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, sprawling nuclear power plants, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.987 billion Sexytopians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Neighborhood Bowlingball. The average income tax rate is 71.2%.

The all-consuming Sexytopian economy, worth 241 trillion Jojoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 121,611 Jojoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Parties that are too noisy are broken up to prevent disturbing wildlife, people can often be seen driving to work in war-surplus tanks, builders across Sexytopia are blocked up with orders for new public loos, and conscripts often volunteer for a second tour of duty so they can get a ticket to next year's Army Revue. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sexytopia's national animal is the Siamang, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Jimism.

Sexytopia is ranked 37,387th in the world and 653rd in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 312.0270919692 Days.

Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,547thTop
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,548thMost Secular: 2,766thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,265thLargest Mining Sector: 4,140thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,004thMost Influential: 5,020thMost Conservative: 6,792ndLowest Crime Rates: 7,650thTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 7,978thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 8,834thMost Advanced Public Education: 10,905thLargest Retail Industry: 14,031stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 14,055thHealthiest Citizens: 14,280thLargest Black Market: 14,350th
Top
5%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 94th in the regionMost Secular: 119th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 146th in the regionMost Influential: 163rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 165th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 228th in the regionMost Conservative: 237th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 251st in the regionTop
10%
Most Corrupt Governments: 306th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 478th in the regionMost Extreme: 506th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 547th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Sexytopia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry and the Top 10% for Largest Retail Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Sexytopia, conscripts often volunteer for a second tour of duty so they can get a ticket to next year's Army Revue.
  • : Following new legislation in Sexytopia, builders across Sexytopia are blocked up with orders for new public loos.
  • : Following new legislation in Sexytopia, people can often be seen driving to work in war-surplus tanks.
  • : Sexytopia's influence in Lazarus rose from "Page" to "Squire".
  • : Sexytopia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry.
  • : Sexytopia was endorsed by The Community of Shangri-La Valley.
  • : Sexytopia was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : Following new legislation in Sexytopia, parties that are too noisy are broken up to prevent disturbing wildlife.
  • : Following new legislation in Sexytopia, boats straying just metres away from the shore will raise the ire of the Coast Guard.

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