by Max Barry

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Spotlight on:

National Flag

The Church of Slongs

“Twirling Toward Freedom”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Very Strong
Political Freedoms:
Below Average

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The East Pacific

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Slongs

Population2.38 billion

CapitalKongo
LeaderThe great Dong
FaithBellringing

Currencymark
Animalsquirrel

The Church of Slongs is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by The great Dong with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and daily referendums. The quiet, industrious population of 2.38 billion Slongsians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kongo. The average income tax rate is 37.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Slongsian economy, worth 180 trillion marks a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 75,729 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Graffiti graces every city's streets, light entertainment shows are light on actual entertainment, cutting-edge missile systems are being retrofitted to twin-prop air force biplanes, and orientation videos remind rookie female politicians that slaps on the bottom are perfectly acceptable forms of communication. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Slongs's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bellringing.

Slongs is ranked 62,360th in the world and 2,748th in The East Pacific for Most Pacifist, with 84.14 Cheeks Turned Per Day.

Top
5%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 3,378thMost Influential: 3,873rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 7,207thTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9,359thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 13,460th
Top
5%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 212th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 218th in the regionTop
10%
Most Influential: 314th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 327th in the regionLargest Black Market: 445th in the regionBest Weather: 479th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 505th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 553rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 605th in the regionMost Stationary: 610th in the regionMost Cultured: 610th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Slongs voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Ban on Forced Sterilisation".
  • : Slongs was endorsed by The Reaving Skallywag of Commodore Badger.
  • : Slongs voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Condemn Koem Kab".
  • : Following new legislation in Slongs, orientation videos remind rookie female politicians that slaps on the bottom are perfectly acceptable forms of communication.
  • : Following new legislation in Slongs, cutting-edge missile systems are being retrofitted to twin-prop air force biplanes.
  • : Slongs voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Condemn North East Somerset".
  • : Following new legislation in Slongs, light entertainment shows are light on actual entertainment.
  • : Following new legislation in Slongs, graffiti graces every city's streets.
  • : Following new legislation in Slongs, the nation's weary schoolchildren excel at sport but must count scores on their fingers.
  • : Following new legislation in Slongs, The great Dong's speeches are beloved by insomniacs.

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