by Max Barry

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The All-Pervasive Infestation of Socialist Cockroaches

“Cockroaches shall rule the world!” the King of Cockroaches

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Weak
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Dominator

Location: Toilette

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Socialist Cockroaches

Population26.906 billion

CapitalOlson Middle School
Leaderthe King of Cockroaches
Faithstate atheism

Currencytoilet paper roll
Animalhuman

The All-Pervasive Infestation of Socialist Cockroaches is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by the King of Cockroaches with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and national health service. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 26.906 billion cockroaches are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Olson Middle School. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but sluggish cockroach economy, worth a remarkable 4,884 trillion toilet paper rolls a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Arms Manufacturing industry. Average income is an impressive 181,543 toilet paper rolls, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Cops with assault weaponry are forcing their way into private homes to search for terrorists, it is illegal to have the wrong clock time showing on your microwave oven, astronomers are flocking to Socialist Cockroaches to take advantage of its clear night skies, and the "boy who cried wolf" policy makes sick people reluctant to call an ambulance. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Socialist Cockroaches's national animal is the human, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is state atheism.

Socialist Cockroaches is ranked 4,401st in the world and 1st in Toilette for Nudest, with 1,170.75 Cheeks Per Square Mile.

Top
1%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 3rdLargest Governments: 3rdLowest Crime Rates: 8thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 49thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 61stMost Beautiful Environments: 85thMost Corrupt Governments: 102ndSafest: 123rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 251stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 320thHealthiest Citizens: 428thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 839thSmartest Citizens: 911thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 944thMost Secular: 982ndLargest Welfare Programs: 1,055thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,482ndHighest Economic Output: 1,921stTop
5%
Most Conservative: 2,635thLargest Populations: 3,079thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,233rdBest Weather: 3,655thNudest: 4,401stMost Advanced Public Education: 5,277thMost Authoritarian: 5,371stMost Inclusive: 5,489thHighest Poor Incomes: 5,972ndHighest Average Incomes: 8,233rdTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12,559thMost Extreme: 19,634th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Cockroaches, the "boy who cried wolf" policy makes sick people reluctant to call an ambulance.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Cockroaches, astronomers are flocking to Socialist Cockroaches to take advantage of its clear night skies.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Cockroaches, it is illegal to have the wrong clock time showing on your microwave oven.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Cockroaches, cops with assault weaponry are forcing their way into private homes to search for terrorists.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Cockroaches, historical commemorations regularly devolve into militaristic jingoism.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Cockroaches, posters remind people that 'Hoarding Mushrooms Is Theft'.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Cockroaches, the government is suspected of mass disappearing dissidents both at home and abroad.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Cockroaches, the nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Cockroaches, not showing enough enthusiasm for mutual assured destruction is a court-martial offence.
  • : Following new legislation in Socialist Cockroaches, government bureaucrats shut down teenage yard-raking businesses for being counter-revolutionary.

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