The Federation of Soomaa National Park is a huge, efficient nation, notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, avowedly heterosexual populace, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, devout population of 943 million Soomaa National Parkians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 47.5%.

The thriving Soomaa National Parkian economy, worth 78.9 trillion gambles a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 83,694 gambles, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Lending money has become a major liability, saying that someone looks a bit pale can be construed as hate speech, citizens seem fixated on 105m x 45m rectangles, and naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Soomaa National Park's national animal is the gamble, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Soomaa National Park is ranked 74,785^th in the world and 5^th in National Parks of Estonia for Most Authoritarian, with 1,254.74 milliStalins.