The Kingdom of South Kalmaria is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Prime Minister Jules Bernard with a fair hand, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, smutty television, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.989 billion South Kalmarians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nouvelle Orléans. The average income tax rate is 56.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient South Kalmarian economy, worth 795 trillion South Kalmarian Francs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 132,841 South Kalmarian Francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Late night talk show hosts are having a field day over Prime Minister Jules Bernard's questionably sane new coalition partners, students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework, pharmaceutical companies emphatically promise that "your pills are in the mail" rather than admit any supply shortfall, and hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have. Crime is totally unknown. South Kalmaria's national animal is the seagull, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

South Kalmaria is ranked 12,934^th in the world and 710^th in The North Pacific for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 1,566.77 Tourists Per Hour.