The Commonwealth of Southwest Ossetia is a very large, efficient nation, remarkable for its absence of drug laws, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 186 million Southwest Ossetians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Education, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.3%.

The very strong Southwest Ossetian economy, worth 14.2 trillion moneroes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 76,548 moneroes, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 404,030 per year while the poor average 7,711, a ratio of 52.4 to 1.

The government is pouring money into 'Operation Enduring Democracy', the hit new medical TV show "Home" prominently features the brand of painkiller the lead doctor is addicted to, male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness', and owners of man-portable particle accelerator backpacks are advised not to cross the streams. Crime is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Southwest Ossetia's national animal is the tardigrade, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Southwest Ossetia is ranked 228,423^rd in the world and 326^th in 10000 Islands for Most Primitive, scoring -91.65 on the Scary Big Number Scale.