by Max Barry

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The Protectorate of Spice Harvester 399

“He who controls the spice controls the universe.”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Jihad Army of the Emperor

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Spice Harvester 399

Population8.308 billion

Currencyspice
Animalsandworm

The Protectorate of Spice Harvester 399 is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, avant-garde cinema, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.308 billion Spice Harvester 399ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Industry, although Education, Spirituality, and Defense are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 24.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Spice Harvester 399ian economy, worth 756 trillion spices a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Gambling, Arms Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 91,069 spices, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 552,861 per year while the poor average 6,675, a ratio of 82.8 to 1.

Government buildings are being cleansed of anything that might have racist connotations, community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common, the first test of a good kindergartener is the quality of the sponge-baths they give, and people are always complaining about dam builders running behind schedule. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Spice Harvester 399's national animal is the sandworm, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Spice Harvester 399 is ranked 76,014th in the world and 910th in Jihad Army of the Emperor for Most Stationary, with 626.9601543008 days.

Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 1,520thTop
5%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 7,135thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 7,210thMost Devout: 11,760thTop
10%
Most Avoided: 18,772ndHighest Disposable Incomes: 19,102ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 19,767thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 20,005thMost Cultured: 23,088thMost Armed: 25,010thLargest Black Market: 25,671stGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 26,017thLargest Agricultural Sector: 27,436th
Top
1%
Most Cultured: 5th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Gambling Industry: 26th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 28th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 54th in the regionMost Devout: 56th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 71st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 94th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 106th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 119th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 133rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Spice Harvester 399, people are always complaining about dam builders running behind schedule.
  • : Following new legislation in Spice Harvester 399, the first test of a good kindergartener is the quality of the sponge-baths they give.
  • : Following new legislation in Spice Harvester 399, community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common.
  • : Following new legislation in Spice Harvester 399, government buildings are being cleansed of anything that might have racist connotations.
  • : Following new legislation in Spice Harvester 399, Leader is called 'Patches' at international summits.
  • : Following new legislation in Spice Harvester 399, stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence.
  • : Spice Harvester 399 was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Unexpected Death Rate.
  • : Spice Harvester 399 was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Armed.
  • : Following new legislation in Spice Harvester 399, toast never burns but always has a weird chemical taste.
  • : Following new legislation in Spice Harvester 399, this year's televised Budget Forecast has been cancelled because there was already one last year.

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