The Protectorate of Spice Harvester 5 is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its triple-decker prams, avowedly heterosexual populace, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.496 billion Spice Harvester 5ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 44.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Spice Harvester 5ian economy, worth 677 trillion spices a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Uranium Mining, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is 79,696 spices, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Boys who even ask about cheerleading are placed on the Sex Offenders Register, the suicide rate mysteriously skyrockets during census years, rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements, and political speeches that drill deep into bureaucratic fine detail could be said to be a little boring. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Spice Harvester 5's national animal is the sandworm, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Spice Harvester 5 is ranked 165,303^rd in the world and 390^th in Jihad Army of the Emperor for Lowest Crime Rates, with 59.68 law-abiding acts per hour.