by Max Barry

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The Topian of Spode Humbled Minions

“Sideways Biden” Sideways Biden

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Very Strong
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Ambassador

Location: The League of Conservative Nations


Spode Humbled Minions

Population9.32 billion

LeaderSideways Biden
FaithRakeoian Paganism


The Topian of Spode Humbled Minions is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Sideways Biden with an even hand, and notable for its daily referendums, frequent executions, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, cheerful population of 9.32 billion derp are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The minute, socially-minded government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cairo. The average income tax rate is 1.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong derp economy, worth a remarkable 1,582 trillion derpfunds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 169,796 derpfunds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Grinding bureaucracy has the international wheels of justice turning slowly, pirates armed with sonar-guided semi-autonomous torpedos and laser weapons systems are often seen capturing fishing trawlers, kids these days know how to throw a proper punch, and droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Spode Humbled Minions's national animal is the sharkderp, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Rakeoian Paganism.

Spode Humbled Minions is ranked 172,992nd in the world and 91st in The League of Conservative Nations for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -3.82 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Largest Information Technology Sector: 379thHighest Crime Rates: 479thMost Inclusive: 1,034thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,156thMost Cultured: 1,309thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,336thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,610thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,930thTop
Most Armed: 2,368thHighest Disposable Incomes: 2,421stNicest Citizens: 2,585thMost Cheerful Citizens: 2,667thMost Compassionate Citizens: 2,738thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,905thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,074thSmartest Citizens: 3,269thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,753rdMost Influential: 4,083rdHealthiest Citizens: 4,282ndNudest: 4,320thLargest Black Market: 5,561stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,610thBest Weather: 7,282ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 8,367thHighest Average Incomes: 9,910thHighest Economic Output: 10,184thTop
Longest Average Lifespans: 15,588thMost Valuable International Artwork: 15,801stMost Income Equality: 18,390th
Smartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionNudest: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionNicest Citizens: 1st in the regionTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Cultured: 2nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 4th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 4th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Influential: 5th in the regionMost Income Equality: 5th in the regionTop
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 6th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 6th in the regionLargest Black Market: 7th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 8th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 9th in the regionMost Armed: 10th in the region

National Happenings

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