by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Armed Republic of Sprinkler

“To rule and opress”

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Sprinkler

Population14.944 billion

CapitalPurgatory
LeaderAdolf Einstein

Currencyslave
Animalsubhuman

The Armed Republic of Sprinkler is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Adolf Einstein with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, strictly enforced bedtime, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 14.944 billion Sprinklerians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Purgatory. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Sprinklerian economy, worth a remarkable 7,224 trillion slaves a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 483,461 slaves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,109,960 per year while the poor average 30,466, a ratio of 102 to 1.

Economics is a shrinking field, only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile, the sound of office water cooler chatter has been replaced by the whirring of computer cooling fans, and the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Purgatory. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Sprinkler's national animal is the subhuman, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Sprinkler is ranked 60,850th in the world and 908th in the South Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 4,171.29 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Avoided: 110thMost Corrupt Governments: 119thHighest Disposable Incomes: 140thFattest Citizens: 171stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 186thLargest Retail Industry: 187thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 259thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 265thMost Armed: 265thLargest Insurance Industry: 276thMost Scientifically Advanced: 285thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 310thLargest Mining Sector: 341stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 383rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 414thRudest Citizens: 523rdHighest Average Incomes: 639thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 793rdMost Secular: 849thLargest Gambling Industry: 919thHighest Crime Rates: 934thMost Efficient Economies: 1,023rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,107thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,261stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,828thHighest Economic Output: 1,855thLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,098thSmartest Citizens: 2,101stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,891stMost Patriotic: 3,351stTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 3,983rdLargest Governments: 4,525thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,894thMost Stationary: 9,695thMost Influential: 13,877thTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 17,412thLargest Black Market: 18,519thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 25,671stLargest Populations: 29,992nd
Top
1%
Largest Mining Sector: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 5th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Avoided: 5th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 5th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 6th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 6th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 7th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 8th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 8th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Armed: 11th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 12th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 12th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 14th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 17th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 18th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 20th in the regionRudest Citizens: 22nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 23rd in the regionMost Secular: 25th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 32nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 34th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 36th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 45th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 49th in the regionMost Patriotic: 53rd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 63rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 65th in the regionLargest Governments: 94th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 129th in the regionLargest Black Market: 149th in the regionMost Stationary: 175th in the regionLargest Populations: 271st in the regionTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 310th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Purgatory.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, the sound of office water cooler chatter has been replaced by the whirring of computer cooling fans.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, economics is a shrinking field.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, military spending recently hit a new high.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, prison libraries are being replaced with interrogation chambers.
  • : Sprinkler was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Patriotic.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, the government is purchasing vast amounts of palm oil for plastics production.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, policemen regularly conduct midnight raids on closed donut shops to 'collect evidence'.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, schoolchildren learn basic numeracy by counting off their push-ups.

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