by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Armed Republic of Sprinkler

“To rule and opress”

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: the South Pacific



Population4.416 billion

LeaderAdolf Einstein


The Armed Republic of Sprinkler is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Adolf Einstein with an iron fist, and remarkable for its flagrant waste-dumping, compulsory military service, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.416 billion Sprinklerians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Education also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Purgatory. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 42.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Sprinklerian economy, worth a remarkable 1,839 trillion slaves a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 416,560 slaves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,865,551 per year while the poor average 4,209, a ratio of 918 to 1.

Homeless people are frequently charged with trespassing on public property, bars are packed at all hours, college-level writing classes are taught by undergraduate editors of the school newspaper, and travellers are often forcibly evicted by torch-bearing mobs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sprinkler's national animal is the subhuman, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Sprinkler is ranked 625th in the world and 6th in the South Pacific for Largest Mining Sector, scoring 28,952.05 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.

Highest Wealthy Incomes: 106thLargest Retail Industry: 126thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 163rdMost Corrupt Governments: 271stMost Avoided: 313thLargest Insurance Industry: 372ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 381stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 389thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 396thHighest Average Incomes: 592ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 609thLargest Mining Sector: 625thFattest Citizens: 655thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 778thRudest Citizens: 822ndMost Armed: 1,000thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,024thMost Efficient Economies: 1,027thMost Secular: 1,138thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,139thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,238thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,299thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,461stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,591stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,771stTop
Largest Black Market: 1,892ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,857thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,092ndSmartest Citizens: 3,478thLargest Governments: 3,531stHighest Economic Output: 7,881stLowest Crime Rates: 9,164thTop
Most Advanced Public Education: 14,285thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 17,254th
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 6th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 8th in the regionMost Avoided: 10th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 12th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 12th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14th in the regionFattest Citizens: 17th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 21st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 24th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 25th in the regionMost Armed: 26th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 27th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 28th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 36th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 36th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 36th in the regionRudest Citizens: 36th in the regionLargest Black Market: 40th in the regionMost Secular: 43rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 46th in the regionTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 80th in the regionLargest Governments: 83rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 84th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 103rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 129th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 250th in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 404th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 422nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 529th in the regionLargest Populations: 555th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 575th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, travellers are often forcibly evicted by torch-bearing mobs.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, college-level writing classes are taught by undergraduate editors of the school newspaper.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, bars are packed at all hours.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, homeless people are frequently charged with trespassing on public property.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, streaming video is considered to be a myth by most citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, the police use sound cannons and mortars to deal with loud parties.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, children often kick subhumans for amusement.
  • : Sprinkler was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, sanitary products are sold in brown paper at hairdressers' salons.
  • : Following new legislation in Sprinkler, strange looking men with big red noses are found hiding behind bushes and inside dustbins.


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