The Holy Empire of Ssartasrurl is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its frequent executions, enslaved workforce, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 10.157 billion Ssartasrurlians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 51.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Ssartasrurlian economy, worth a remarkable 2,036 trillion Golds a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 200,529 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.6 times as much as the poorest.

Passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life, returning vacationers often find that their property is now a construction site, citizens must inform the government each time they have a haircut, and Members of Parliament are often found living in cardboard boxes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ssartasrurl's national animal is the Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Ssartasrurl is ranked 14,048^th in the world and 989^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 95.24 law-abiding acts per hour.