by Max Barry

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The Kings are Terrible at Hockey of Starman Deluxe

“Lose for Hughes”

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Power

Location: Hyrule


Starman Deluxe

Population31.919 billion

LeaderGeneral Manager Rob Blake

CurrencyHockey Puck
AnimalFoppys and Penguins

The Kings are Terrible at Hockey of Starman Deluxe is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by General Manager Rob Blake with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, complete lack of public education, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 31.919 billion Hockey Players are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Law & Order is also considered important, while Social Policy and Healthcare receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.4%.

The all-consuming Starman Deluxean economy, worth an astonishing 13,482 trillion Hockey Pucks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Trout Farming, and Information Technology. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 422,397 Hockey Pucks, with the richest citizens earning 7.7 times as much as the poorest.

Package deals offer tourists the chance to visit the frozen remains of the previous tour group, homeless people can be found sleeping on streets in front of unoccupied second homes, bars are packed at all hours, and aggressive promotion of global warming puts polar bears on thin ice. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Starman Deluxe's national animal is the Foppys and Penguins, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Starman Deluxe is ranked 2,967th in the world and 1st in Hyrule for Most Corrupt Governments, with 196.55 Kickbacks Per Hour.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 20thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 35thFattest Citizens: 45thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 93rdLargest Insurance Industry: 107thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 152ndHighest Economic Output: 156thHighest Disposable Incomes: 202ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 224thLargest Gambling Industry: 310thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 398thHighest Average Incomes: 439thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 646thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 680thMost Beautiful Environments: 731stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 925thLargest Populations: 1,043rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,070thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,139thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,166thLargest Black Market: 1,215thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,304thTop
Most Influential: 1,856thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,871stLargest Governments: 1,943rdLowest Crime Rates: 2,210thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,265thNudest: 2,686thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,689thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,793rdMost Corrupt Governments: 2,967thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,785thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,898thSafest: 5,428thRudest Citizens: 7,166thLargest Mining Sector: 7,915thMost Scientifically Advanced: 8,350thLargest Information Technology Sector: 8,493rdTop
Most Secular: 11,763rdHighest Drug Use: 15,221st
Highest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the region

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