by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Empire of Stoffghanistan

“Pay no attention to your oppression!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Unproven

Location: The East Pacific



Population8.96 billion

LeaderThe Stoff

CurrencyIron Penny
AnimalRed Snail

The Empire of Stoffghanistan is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Stoff with an iron fist, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, zero percent divorce rate, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.96 billion Stoffghanistanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stoffengrad. The average income tax rate is 68.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Stoffghanistanian economy, worth 817 trillion Iron Pennies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 91,287 Iron Pennies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Oracles predict landslide victories for The Stoff for the next 50 years, a citizen who thinks a slave is a deadbeat is entitled to make the descriptor literally true, political activists are routinely executed, and golden statues of Red Snails line the memorial avenues of the Funerary District. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Stoffghanistan's national animal is the Red Snail, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Stoffism.

Stoffghanistan is ranked 37,739th in the world and 920th in The East Pacific for Most World Assembly Endorsements, with zero Valid Endorsements.

Largest Black Market: 2,358thMost Influential: 2,414thMost Devout: 3,519thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,313thMost Authoritarian: 5,852ndLargest Retail Industry: 6,937thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,047thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8,001stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 8,653rdMost Beautiful Environments: 9,680thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 11,099thBest Weather: 11,819thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 12,570thMost Advanced Public Education: 13,862ndMost Income Equality: 13,898thMost Conservative: 14,776thMost Extreme: 15,009thHighest Poor Incomes: 15,012th
Largest Black Market: 45th in the regionTop
Most Devout: 73rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 110th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 135th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 155th in the regionMost Influential: 167th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 178th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 184th in the regionLargest Populations: 192nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 240th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 257th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 257th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 269th in the regionTop
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 328th in the regionBest Weather: 335th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 372nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 426th in the regionMost Extreme: 470th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 488th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 527th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


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