by Max Barry

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The Immortal Empire of Suicidistan

“We will grow stronger, and live forever! Mayos Vult!”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: The North Pacific



Population3.387 billion

CapitalCedrus Crestus
LeaderEmperor Throckmorton

CurrencyFresh Grown Yam

The Immortal Empire of Suicidistan is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Throckmorton with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.387 billion Suicidians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Industry, and Administration are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cedrus Crestus. The average income tax rate is 83.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Suicidian economy, worth 908 trillion Fresh Grown Yams a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 268,349 Fresh Grown Yams, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

Even snitches get stitches, only adults may purchase violent video games, it's a miracle that there aren't more plane crashes, and new "Worker's Strike" laws set out who is allowed to strike a worker. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Suicidistan's national animal is the Opabinia, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Throckmortonism.

Suicidistan is ranked 9,895th in the world and 400th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 6,385.99 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.

Most Influential: 314thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 721stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 812thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,021stLargest Black Market: 1,324thTop
Most Corrupt Governments: 1,663rdHighest Average Incomes: 2,326thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,327thFattest Citizens: 2,444thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,627thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,855thMost Devout: 3,172ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,230thLargest Mining Sector: 3,648thLargest Retail Industry: 4,037thMost Avoided: 4,622ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,760thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,923rdHighest Poor Incomes: 5,505thMost Subsidized Industry: 5,755thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5,943rdLargest Governments: 6,095thLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,002ndMost Armed: 7,352ndTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 7,642ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 7,740thMost Advanced Public Education: 7,912thMost Efficient Economies: 9,011thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,895thLargest Welfare Programs: 10,468thHighest Average Tax Rates: 10,578thHighest Drug Use: 13,191stMost Cultured: 13,410thLowest Crime Rates: 13,466thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 14,334th
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 33rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 35th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 40th in the regionLargest Black Market: 42nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 67th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 68th in the regionTop
Fattest Citizens: 79th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 87th in the regionMost Influential: 98th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 104th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 110th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 113th in the regionMost Devout: 141st in the regionMost Avoided: 150th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 174th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 175th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 206th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 271st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 273rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 276th in the regionMost Armed: 286th in the regionLargest Governments: 309th in the regionTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 381st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 396th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 400th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 408th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 411th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 438th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 480th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 487th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 495th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 519th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 673rd in the regionMost Cultured: 690th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 737th in the region

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