by Max Barry

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The Constitutional Monarchy of Suomers

“You cannot be a true man until you learn to obey” Desider Ludwig Wilhelm von Bismarc

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Suomers

Population6.597 billion

CapitalKaliningrad
LeaderDesider Ludwig Wilhelm von Bismarc
FaithChristianity

Currencydenier
Animaleagle

The Constitutional Monarchy of Suomers is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Desider Ludwig Wilhelm von Bismarc with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, avowedly heterosexual populace, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 6.597 billion Suomersians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kaliningrad. The average income tax rate is 3.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Suomersian economy, worth a remarkable 1,410 trillion deniers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 213,871 deniers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

It turns out that you actually can put a price on intangible cultural heritage, UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news, farmers sing lullabies to soothe their livestock to sleep, and the climate agreement has actually increased the volume of hot air in the atmosphere. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Suomers's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Suomers is ranked 226,811th in the world and 4,363rd in The North Pacific for Most Stationary, with 26.58430937492 days.

Top
1%
Largest Retail Industry: 1,457thMost Devout: 1,527thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,569thFattest Citizens: 1,622ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,886thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,220thTop
5%
Largest Mining Sector: 3,538thMost Influential: 3,598thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,699thRudest Citizens: 4,030thMost Avoided: 4,442ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,702ndLargest Publishing Industry: 6,393rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 7,625thLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,850thMost Cultured: 8,008thMost Rebellious Youth: 8,019thHighest Average Incomes: 8,357thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,706thHighest Poor Incomes: 9,063rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9,529thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9,757thMost Conservative: 13,424thSmartest Citizens: 14,418thTop
10%
Most Patriotic: 15,690thMost Armed: 18,692ndHighest Economic Output: 19,235thMost Efficient Economies: 19,715thLargest Black Market: 21,209thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 23,004thLargest Agricultural Sector: 26,312thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 27,420th
Top
1%
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 46th in the regionFattest Citizens: 46th in the regionMost Devout: 49th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 54th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 57th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 58th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 63rd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 82nd in the regionMost Avoided: 94th in the regionRudest Citizens: 145th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 178th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 238th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 241st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 252nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 279th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 281st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 302nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 309th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 347th in the regionTop
10%
Most Armed: 356th in the regionMost Cultured: 363rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 400th in the regionMost Conservative: 416th in the regionMost Patriotic: 451st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 508th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 512th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 560th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 648th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 668th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 685th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Suomers was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Agricultural Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Suomers, the climate agreement has actually increased the volume of hot air in the atmosphere.
  • : Following new legislation in Suomers, farmers sing lullabies to soothe their livestock to sleep.
  • : Following new legislation in Suomers, UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news.
  • : Following new legislation in Suomers, it turns out that you actually can put a price on intangible cultural heritage.
  • : Following new legislation in Suomers, a new generation of aquariumless hotels are being built under government supervision.
  • : Following new legislation in Suomers, local officials love to claim the protection of their Big Brother.
  • : Following new legislation in Suomers, charities reserve the right to not help those who go against religious teachings.
  • : Following new legislation in Suomers, nobody likes bad boys any more.
  • : Following new legislation in Suomers, authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets.

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