by Max Barry

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The Holy Cheesedom of Swiss Cheese Wheel

“Welcome... to Canada.” Davy Crockett

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
All-Consuming
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Swiss Cheese Wheel

Population1.355 billion

CapitalBlue Plastic Cup
LeaderDavy Crockett
FaithDavism

Currencycheese
Animalexotic cheese toucan

The Holy Cheesedom of Swiss Cheese Wheel is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Davy Crockett with an iron fist, and remarkable for its aversion to nipples, complete lack of public education, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.355 billion tricycles are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Industry, Environment, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Blue Plastic Cup. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.3%.

The all-consuming tricycleian economy, worth 175 trillion cheeses a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Trout Farming, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 129,426 cheeses, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 490,109 per year while the poor average 23,753, a ratio of 20.6 to 1.

Flash floods that dams could have controlled regularly ravage small towns in mountain valleys, acupuncture is routinely prescribed for intravenous drug addicts, police drones follow every suspected Peeping Tom, and the government is seen to favor traditionalist religions. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Swiss Cheese Wheel's national animal is the exotic cheese toucan, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Davism.

Swiss Cheese Wheel is ranked 304,326th in the world and 4,932nd in the South Pacific for Largest Mining Sector, scoring -11.75 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.

Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 840thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 1,105thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,516thMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,071stHighest Crime Rates: 2,226thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,478thTop
5%
Most Influential: 3,500thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,827thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4,651stMost Avoided: 6,393rdMost Armed: 7,133rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 7,639thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,276thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,981stMost Rebellious Youth: 10,414thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14,366thMost Corrupt Governments: 14,466thTop
10%
Most Patriotic: 17,644thMost Beautiful Environments: 18,959thMost Authoritarian: 19,198thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 21,617thMost Conservative: 22,189thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 25,668thLargest Black Market: 29,276th
Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 13th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 19th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 22nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 46th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 48th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 76th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 83rd in the regionMost Avoided: 84th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 128th in the regionMost Armed: 133rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 148th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 153rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 198th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 220th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 247th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Black Market: 299th in the regionMost Patriotic: 301st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 322nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 335th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 391st in the regionMost Influential: 405th in the regionMost Conservative: 460th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 466th in the region

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