by Max Barry

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The Radiant Moose of Sylven

“No use shutting the door once the devil's inside” My Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Good
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Instigator

Location: Solid Kingdom

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Sylven

Population17.252 billion

CapitalSylvent
LeaderMy Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe
FaithSylvestirizorism

Currencygold coin
AnimalSylver Neko

The Radiant Moose of Sylven is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by My Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, parental licensing program, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 17.252 billion Sylveniaux are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sylvent. The average income tax rate is 92.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Sylvenial economy, worth a remarkable 1,402 trillion gold coins a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Pizza Delivery, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 81,308 gold coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Aides are afraid to ask if My Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe wants a cup of tea or coffee, foreign policy is mostly just to smile and hope for the best, military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner, and the nation's air force consists of strongly-worded letters folded into paper airplanes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sylven's national animal is the Sylver Neko, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sylvestirizorism.

Sylven is ranked 4,548th in the world and 4th in Solid Kingdom for Largest Black Market, with 483 trillion Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,803rdTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2,613thMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,848thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,381stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3,410thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,955thLargest Black Market: 4,548thMost Advanced Public Transport: 5,454thMost Corrupt Governments: 6,067thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,539thMost Authoritarian: 7,166thMost Devout: 7,775thLowest Crime Rates: 8,048thMost Primitive: 8,678thLargest Populations: 11,159thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,495thMost Stationary: 11,711thTop
10%
Largest Governments: 12,226thHighest Economic Output: 12,502ndMost Conservative: 12,950thMost Income Equality: 13,483rdMost Influential: 13,623rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 18,167thHighest Poor Incomes: 20,836thMost Beautiful Environments: 23,345th
Top
10%
Most Authoritarian: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Sylven was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Stationary and Most Politically Apathetic Citizens and the Top 10% for Most Beautiful Environments.
  • : Sylven lodged a message on the Solid Kingdom Regional Message Board.
  • : Sylven's influence in Solid Kingdom fell from "Dealmaker" to "Instigator".
  • : Sylven's influence in Solid Kingdom rose from "Instigator" to "Dealmaker".
  • : Sylven lodged a message on the Solid Kingdom Regional Message Board.
  • : Sylven lodged a message on the Solid Kingdom Regional Message Board.
  • : Sylven was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Populations.
  • : Sylven was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Zombified, Most Zombies, Most Dead, and Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : Sylven was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Survivors.
  • : Sylven lodged a message on the Solid Kingdom Regional Message Board.

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