by Max Barry

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The Radiant Moose of Sylven

“No use shutting the door once the devil's inside” My Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Good
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: the West Pacific

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Sylven

Population19.153 billion

CapitalSylvent
LeaderMy Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe
FaithSylvestirizorism

Currencygold coin
AnimalSylver Neko

The Radiant Moose of Sylven is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by My Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe with an iron fist, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, sprawling nuclear power plants, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.153 billion Sylveniaux are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sylvent. The average income tax rate is 92.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Sylvenial economy, worth a remarkable 1,547 trillion gold coins a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Pizza Delivery, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 80,802 gold coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Aides are afraid to ask if My Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe wants a cup of tea or coffee, foreign policy is mostly just to smile and hope for the best, military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner, and the nation's air force consists of strongly-worded letters folded into paper airplanes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sylven's national animal is the Sylver Neko, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sylvestirizorism.

Sylven is ranked 78,897th in the world and 690th in the West Pacific for Highest Average Incomes, with 80,802.03 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,576thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,655thTop
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 3,170thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3,186thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,551stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,792ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,693rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,862ndMost Primitive: 7,420thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,823rdMost Authoritarian: 10,284thLargest Black Market: 11,246thMost Corrupt Governments: 11,405thLowest Crime Rates: 12,713thTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 16,978thMost Income Equality: 18,525thLargest Governments: 18,605thMost Devout: 19,305thLargest Populations: 19,596thHighest Economic Output: 19,662ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 22,684thMost Beautiful Environments: 25,147thMost Conservative: 28,758th
Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 30th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 33rd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 35th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 50th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 51st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 57th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 60th in the regionMost Primitive: 77th in the regionLargest Black Market: 98th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 103rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 105th in the regionMost Devout: 115th in the regionLargest Populations: 135th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 144th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 155th in the regionTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 196th in the regionLargest Governments: 203rd in the regionMost Patriotic: 218th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 224th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 237th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 300th in the regionMost Income Equality: 309th in the regionMost Extreme: 370th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 378th in the region

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