by Max Barry

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The Radiant Moose of Sylven

“No use shutting the door once the devil's inside” My Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Good
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Contender

Location: Solid Kingdom

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Sylven

Population16.038 billion

CapitalSylvent
LeaderMy Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe
FaithSylvestirizorism

Currencygold coin
AnimalSylver Neko

The Radiant Moose of Sylven is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by My Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, keen interest in outer space, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 16.038 billion Sylveniaux are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sylvent. The average income tax rate is 92.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Sylvenial economy, worth a remarkable 1,304 trillion gold coins a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Pizza Delivery, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 81,308 gold coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Aides are afraid to ask if My Deare Sweet Tomatillo Or Whatevs Hehe wants a cup of tea or coffee, foreign policy is mostly just to smile and hope for the best, military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner, and the nation's air force consists of strongly-worded letters folded into paper airplanes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sylven's national animal is the Sylver Neko, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sylvestirizorism.

Sylven is ranked 5,980th in the world and 5th in Solid Kingdom for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 92.86 Effective Tax Rate.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,493rdTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2,440thMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,720thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3,132ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,300thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,867thLargest Black Market: 3,892ndMost Corrupt Governments: 5,467thMost Advanced Public Transport: 5,477thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,980thMost Authoritarian: 6,724thMost Devout: 7,021stLowest Crime Rates: 7,443rdMost Primitive: 7,614thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 10,177thTop
10%
Largest Governments: 11,304thLargest Populations: 11,433rdMost Conservative: 12,029thMost Stationary: 12,529thHighest Economic Output: 12,650thMost Income Equality: 13,019thMost Influential: 14,158thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 15,652ndHighest Poor Incomes: 17,838th
Top
5%
Largest Populations: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Sylven was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Subsidized Industry.
  • : Sylven lodged a message on the Solid Kingdom Regional Message Board.
  • : Sylven was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Stationary.
  • : Sylven was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Influential and Highest Economic Output.
  • : Sylven was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Ignorant Citizens.
  • : Sylven was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Sylven lodged a message on the Solid Kingdom Regional Message Board.
  • : Sylven lodged a message on the Solid Kingdom Regional Message Board.
  • : Sylven lodged a message on the Solid Kingdom Regional Message Board.
  • : Sylven was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Populations.

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