by Max Barry

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The Hypothetical Emirate of Syriana

“Syriana”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: One big Island

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Syriana

Population19.244 billion

CapitalDamascus

CurrencyOil
AnimalCamel

The Hypothetical Emirate of Syriana is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, anti-smoking policies, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.244 billion Syrianans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Damascus. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 45.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Syrianan economy, worth a remarkable 3,548 trillion Oils a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 184,403 Oils, with the richest citizens earning 8.3 times as much as the poorest.

Major corporations receive tax breaks for no apparent reason, the studies of art and philosophy are banned, the government is in utter turmoil following the recent abolishment of the tax code, and serial killers are the country's biggest import. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Syriana's national animal is the Camel, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Syriana is ranked 100,760th in the world and 22nd in One big Island for Highest Drug Use, scoring 68.2 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

Top
1%
Largest Insurance Industry: 1,633rdLargest Black Market: 1,913thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,966thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,039thMost Avoided: 2,068thTop
5%
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,545thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,105thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3,109thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,422ndHighest Economic Output: 3,590thLargest Gambling Industry: 3,862ndFattest Citizens: 4,243rdMost Corrupt Governments: 5,381stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5,718thHighest Disposable Incomes: 6,210thLargest Mining Sector: 6,719thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,973rdLargest Populations: 8,069thHighest Average Incomes: 8,362ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,012thMost Efficient Economies: 9,838thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,956thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11,190thTop
10%
Largest Retail Industry: 12,864thLargest Agricultural Sector: 19,001stMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,717thLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,067thLowest Crime Rates: 21,277thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 21,930thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 22,675thLargest Governments: 23,573rd
Top
10%
Most Avoided: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 3rd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Syriana was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Syriana, serial killers are the country's biggest import.
  • : Following new legislation in Syriana, the government is in utter turmoil following the recent abolishment of the tax code.
  • : Following new legislation in Syriana, the studies of art and philosophy are banned.
  • : Following new legislation in Syriana, major corporations receive tax breaks for no apparent reason.
  • : Following new legislation in Syriana, third world countries are rich in "I Love Damascus" t-shirts.
  • : Following new legislation in Syriana, the nation forgives those who are big enough to admit they made a mistake.
  • : Following new legislation in Syriana, rumor has it that Leader has won three lotteries in a row.
  • : Following new legislation in Syriana, drivers regularly pull over for nonexistent police cars.
  • : Following new legislation in Syriana, you're only as old as you feel.

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