by Max Barry

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The Republic of Syvaihmetys

“Ruõnâs Vueiʹvvgåårad”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
All-Consuming
Political Freedoms:
Below Average

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: Luadastmaa Puppet Region

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Syvaihmetys

Population491 million

CapitalSyvaihmetys

CurrencyUʹrvvlõstt
AnimalReindeer

The Republic of Syvaihmetys is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its teetotalling pirates, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, devout population of 491 million Syvaihmetysians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Environment, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Syvaihmetys. The average income tax rate is 73.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Syvaihmetysian economy, worth 32.3 trillion Uʹrvvlõstts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, extremely specialized black market in Tourism and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 65,772 Uʹrvvlõstts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones, clowns are being rounded up and admitted to mental institutions, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate, and Syvaihmetysian watches are often the only thing to survive a disaster intact. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Syvaihmetys's national animal is the Reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Syvaihmetys is ranked 298,505th in the world and 9th in Luadastmaa Puppet Region for Most Secular, with 6.55 Atheism Rate.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 2,115thTop
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 7,526thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 10,467thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 11,816thBest Weather: 14,971stTop
10%
Most Cheerful Citizens: 16,515thMost Devout: 17,798thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 18,900thMost Subsidized Industry: 19,222ndMost Beautiful Environments: 20,930thMost Pacifist: 23,967thMost Inclusive: 25,811thMost Cultured: 26,152ndLargest Welfare Programs: 27,811thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 27,978thHighest Food Quality: 28,407thLongest Average Lifespans: 28,846thHighest Average Tax Rates: 30,982nd

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Syvaihmetys, Syvaihmetysian watches are often the only thing to survive a disaster intact.
  • : Following new legislation in Syvaihmetys, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate.
  • : Following new legislation in Syvaihmetys, clowns are being rounded up and admitted to mental institutions.
  • : Following new legislation in Syvaihmetys, citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones.
  • : Following new legislation in Syvaihmetys, there have been reports of people marrying housepets.
  • : Following new legislation in Syvaihmetys, it is a crime to operate a combine harvester while intoxicated.
  • : Following new legislation in Syvaihmetys, public incontinence is a growing problem amongst the nation's women.
  • : Following new legislation in Syvaihmetys, the government funds large training centres to turn Reindeer into functioning members of society.
  • : Following new legislation in Syvaihmetys, schoolchildren learn an R-rated version of "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes".
  • : Following new legislation in Syvaihmetys, a vast monorail network carries people all over the country.

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