by Max Barry

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The Protected Socialist Utopias of Szotland

“I will not be toppled” The S-Man

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Struggling
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Newcomer

Location: Osiris

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Szotland

Population11.441 billion

CapitalLeftytown
LeaderThe S-Man
Faiththe Supervised Church of Szotland

Currencytoken
AnimalDonkey

The Protected Socialist Utopias of Szotland is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The S-Man with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, enslaved workforce, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.441 billion Szotlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Leftytown. The income tax rate is 100%.

The large but sluggish Szotlandian economy, worth 992 trillion tokens a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, extremely specialized black market in Basket Weaving and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 86,744 tokens, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Glassy-eyed Szotlandian wives lifelessly chant "I love you" on command, panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet, there's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services, and politicians are often seen with soldiers pointing guns at their heads. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Szotland's national animal is the Donkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is the Supervised Church of Szotland.

Szotland is ranked 75,979th in the world and 3,585th in Osiris for Most Developed, scoring 57.22 on the Human Development Index.

Top
1%
Best Weather: 96thLowest Crime Rates: 96thMost Primitive: 116thHighest Average Tax Rates: 155thMost Devout: 158thMost Beautiful Environments: 161stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 181stMost Corrupt Governments: 232ndLargest Governments: 233rdHealthiest Citizens: 322ndMost Conservative: 870thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,237thTop
5%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,796thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,922ndMost Authoritarian: 2,977thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,203rdLargest Black Market: 3,700thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,543rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5,604thLargest Welfare Programs: 7,757thMost Extreme: 8,287thSmartest Citizens: 8,667thTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 9,821stMost Advanced Public Education: 11,680thHighest Economic Output: 15,776thHighest Poor Incomes: 17,669th
Top
1%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionBest Weather: 2nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 4th in the regionLargest Governments: 5th in the regionMost Primitive: 6th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 6th in the regionMost Devout: 7th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 7th in the regionMost Conservative: 28th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 55th in the regionTop
5%
Most Authoritarian: 71st in the regionMost Extreme: 97th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 131st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 183rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 198th in the regionLargest Black Market: 210th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 283rd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 291st in the regionTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 407th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 440th in the regionLargest Populations: 517th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Szotland was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Szotland's influence in Osiris rose from "Hatchling" to "Newcomer".
  • : Following new legislation in Szotland, politicians are often seen with soldiers pointing guns at their heads.
  • : Following new legislation in Szotland, there's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services.
  • : Following new legislation in Szotland, panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet.
  • : Following new legislation in Szotland, glassy-eyed Szotlandian wives lifelessly chant "I love you" on command.
  • : Following new legislation in Szotland, jaywalking is punishable by public flogging.
  • : Following new legislation in Szotland, it is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma.
  • : Following new legislation in Szotland, songs in 4/4 time are simply too common for the musical cognoscenti.
  • : Following new legislation in Szotland, bands of adventurers rove the countryside searching for monsters.

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