by Max Barry

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The Islamic Emirate of Takiran

“There is no god but Allah” Anwar Al-Awlaki

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Page

Location: United Empire of Islam

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Takiran

Population2.313 billion

CapitalJamila
LeaderAnwar Al-Awlaki
FaithIslam

CurrencyTakirani Pesi
AnimalLion

The Islamic Emirate of Takiran is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Anwar Al-Awlaki with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, parental licensing program, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.313 billion Takiranis are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jamila. The average income tax rate is 92.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Takirani economy, worth 281 trillion Takirani Pesis a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 121,786 Takirani Pesis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves, the nation has nearly as many history museums as Takiranis, there are six more weeks of winter if a northerner sees his shadow, and the revelation that people were sexist in the past is apparently front page news. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Takiran's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Islam.

Takiran is ranked 13,331st in the world and 11th in United Empire of Islam for Most World Assembly Endorsements, with 1 Valid Endorsements.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 474thMost Primitive: 568thMost Devout: 821stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,301stTop
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 3,141stMost Authoritarian: 3,472ndLowest Crime Rates: 3,924thMost Ignorant Citizens: 4,461stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,147thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,797thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6,200thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,619thMost Conservative: 8,004thLargest Governments: 8,102ndLargest Black Market: 8,133rdHighest Poor Incomes: 8,296thTop
10%
Most Extreme: 9,077thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 10,929thMost Subsidized Industry: 11,197thMost Beautiful Environments: 11,501stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 11,813thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 13,007thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 13,331stMost Income Equality: 15,831stBest Weather: 15,993rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 16,293rd
Top
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Conservative: 2nd in the regionTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 3rd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Devout: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Takiran, the revelation that people were sexist in the past is apparently front page news.
  • : Following new legislation in Takiran, there are six more weeks of winter if a northerner sees his shadow.
  • : Following new legislation in Takiran, the nation has nearly as many history museums as Takiranis.
  • : Following new legislation in Takiran, all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves.
  • : Following new legislation in Takiran, soldiers' positions are given away by the glint of their bayonets.
  • : Following new legislation in Takiran, the nation is committed to nuclear rearmament.
  • : Following new legislation in Takiran, the men in trenchcoats hanging around playgrounds are actually police officers.
  • : Following new legislation in Takiran, country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized.
  • : Following new legislation in Takiran, adults hang around outside comic stores to ask kids to go and buy magazines for them.
  • : Takiran was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Governments.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 1 » The Pakistani Federation.

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