by Max Barry

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The Empire of Talamh na Cailleach

“A bheith aerach a dhéanamh coireanna”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Very Strong
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: the South Pacific


Talamh na Cailleach

Population468 million


The Empire of Talamh na Cailleach is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, complete lack of prisons, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 468 million Tallans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 40.9%.

The very strong Talamh na Cailleachian economy, worth 32.4 trillion kronor a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 69,223 kronor, with the richest citizens earning 9.2 times as much as the poorest.

Cheap textbooks have replaced coasters at college ragers, pictures of government employees with expensive Pearbooks 'working' on exotic beaches dominate local tabloids, the nation is famous for having one of the world's largest cobra hunting institutions, and suppression of pro-democracy protests is a daily occurrence. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Talamh na Cailleach's national animal is the cobra, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Talamh na Cailleach is ranked 134,778th in the world and 5,378th in the South Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 195.61 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,967thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 6,682ndTop
Most Influential: 8,316thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 8,688th
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 142nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 225th in the regionTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 544th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 553rd in the region

National Happenings

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