by Max Barry

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The Arctic Nomads of Taloren

“ Low Temperatures, High Spirits”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: Rushmore

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Taloren

Population11.626 billion

CapitalTaloren City

CurrencyKorona
AnimalDragonfly

The Arctic Nomads of Taloren is a gargantuan, orderly nation, notable for its aversion to nipples, free-roaming dinosaurs, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 11.626 billion Talorenians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, with Industry, Healthcare, and Environment also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Taloren City. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Talorenian economy, worth a remarkable 2,358 trillion Koronas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Retail, Furniture Restoration, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 202,847 Koronas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Immigrants complain that natives keep coming over and taking their jobs, members of majority races are forced out of their homes to make way for Bigtopians, many believe that you can't repeat history's mistakes if you don't care what they were, and toxic smog is dismissed as the populace just "letting off steam". Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Taloren's national animal is the Dragonfly, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Taloren is ranked 94,306th in the world and 38th in Rushmore for Most Stationary, with 482.5761842066 days.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 196thMost Primitive: 207thMost Subsidized Industry: 297thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 345thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 490thMost Avoided: 499thHighest Crime Rates: 631stMost Advanced Public Transport: 827thMost Corrupt Governments: 939thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,024thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,049thFattest Citizens: 1,296thLargest Black Market: 1,541stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,586thMost Secular: 1,650thLargest Retail Industry: 2,406thTop
5%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,358thMost Efficient Economies: 5,248thLargest Mining Sector: 5,606thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,754thMost Armed: 6,187thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,404thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 7,066thHighest Average Incomes: 9,773rdHighest Economic Output: 9,904thLargest Governments: 10,996thNudest: 13,924thTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 15,823rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 17,675thMost Valuable International Artwork: 23,052ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 24,600th
Top
5%
Most Avoided: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionNudest: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 4th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 4th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 4th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 5th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 6th in the regionMost Conservative: 7th in the regionMost Extreme: 7th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Taloren, toxic smog is dismissed as the populace just "letting off steam".
  • : Following new legislation in Taloren, many believe that you can't repeat history's mistakes if you don't care what they were.
  • : Following new legislation in Taloren, members of majority races are forced out of their homes to make way for Bigtopians.
  • : Following new legislation in Taloren, immigrants complain that natives keep coming over and taking their jobs.
  • : Following new legislation in Taloren, the nation's "surprisingly chill" military is renowned for its horrendous war crimes.
  • : Following new legislation in Taloren, molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public.
  • : Following new legislation in Taloren, aggressive promotion of global warming puts polar bears on thin ice.
  • : Following new legislation in Taloren, Leader's opponents have adopted dogs to chase away the mailman.
  • : Following new legislation in Taloren, paranoid museum guards keep a lookout for any animated displays attempting to escape the premises after dark.
  • : Following new legislation in Taloren, the nation faces constant invasions by foreign boy bands.

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