by Max Barry

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The Fruitless Nascency of Tartana

“Born Free”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Superb
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excessive

Regional Influence: Unproven

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Tartana

Population1.956 billion

CapitalCity
LeaderThe Guy
FaithGod

Currencymoney
Animalfish

The Fruitless Nascency of Tartana is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by The Guy with a fair hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 1.956 billion Tartans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of City. The average income tax rate is 93.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tartaniard economy, worth 249 trillion monies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 127,696 monies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Large sections of Tartana have been named national reserves to protect the native tribes living there, playground injuries are considered academic progress, The Guy is worshipped as a god, and convicts released after being found "wrongfully imprisoned" are surprisingly chill about the whole thing. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Tartana's national animal is the fish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is God.

Tartana is ranked 3,301st in the world and 97th in the South Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 56.31 average smiles per day.

Top
1%
Nudest: 55thHighest Drug Use: 927thMost Pacifist: 2,204thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,245thMost Cheerful Citizens: 2,968thNicest Citizens: 3,301stLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,310thTop
5%
Most Compassionate Citizens: 3,493rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3,889thMost Devout: 4,046thMost Primitive: 4,230thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 4,699thMost Cultured: 4,713thLargest Publishing Industry: 4,912thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 4,998thHighest Food Quality: 5,224thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5,850thMost Inclusive: 5,942ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,065thMost Beautiful Environments: 7,193rdBest Weather: 7,313thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,350thSafest: 7,585thLongest Average Lifespans: 8,351stMost Advanced Public Education: 8,516thLeast Corrupt Governments: 8,570thMost Advanced Public Transport: 8,740thMost Developed: 9,709thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 10,684thHealthiest Citizens: 10,785thHighest Poor Incomes: 11,652ndSmartest Citizens: 12,127thLargest Governments: 12,576thMost Income Equality: 15,363rdTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 20,224thMost Subsidized Industry: 21,917thMost Politically Free: 29,561st
Top
1%
Nudest: 2nd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 28th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 42nd in the regionMost Devout: 52nd in the regionMost Primitive: 53rd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Welfare Programs: 59th in the regionMost Pacifist: 73rd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 75th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 95th in the regionNicest Citizens: 97th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 103rd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 112th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 113th in the regionMost Cultured: 113th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 113th in the regionMost Politically Free: 121st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 147th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 150th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 171st in the regionMost Inclusive: 176th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 184th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 198th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 201st in the regionSafest: 220th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 236th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 241st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 242nd in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 244th in the regionBest Weather: 247th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 250th in the regionMost Developed: 257th in the regionLargest Governments: 259th in the regionTop
10%
Most Income Equality: 278th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 293rd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 314th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 353rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 398th in the regionMost Extreme: 409th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 422nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Tartana, convicts released after being found "wrongfully imprisoned" are surprisingly chill about the whole thing.
  • : Following new legislation in Tartana, The Guy is worshipped as a god.
  • : Following new legislation in Tartana, playground injuries are considered academic progress.
  • : Following new legislation in Tartana, large sections of Tartana have been named national reserves to protect the native tribes living there.
  • : Following new legislation in Tartana, intellectual snobbery has the cognoscenti sneering at anyone who doesn't have an opinion on the semiological drift of Umberto Eco's works.
  • : Following new legislation in Tartana, politicians tend to speak more loudly and slowly these days.
  • : Following new legislation in Tartana, the government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country.
  • : Following new legislation in Tartana, the nationalised Arms Manufacturing Industry is not interested in making weapons.
  • : Following new legislation in Tartana, soldiers find that home gadgets and power tools are more effective as improvised weapons than the guns they've been issued.
  • : Following new legislation in Tartana, hospitals in Tartana are too busy serving the needs of the South Pacific to see Tartans.

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