The Union of States of Telovar is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by 12th President-Governor George Lowery with a fair hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, keen interest in outer space, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 8.907 billion Telovarians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Halmarkville. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 90.1%.

The frighteningly efficient telovarian economy, worth a remarkable 5,266 trillion Telovarian dollars a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 591,253 Telovarian dollars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,258,224 per year while the poor average 54,320, a ratio of 60.0 to 1.

Enemy governments seem especially interested in Telovar's election cycle, companies are literally blowing their competition out of the water, crackheads chase drug-loaded drones in hopes of a lucky drop, and high school band practice is often crashed by technicolor-clad ravers. Crime is totally unknown. Telovar's national animal is the Royal Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Telovarian Evangelist Church.

Telovar is ranked 921^st in the world and 12^th in Calme Ybovien for Most Patriotic, with 133.3 flags saluted per person per day.