by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Holy Empire of Teoceto

“For god”

Category: Authoritarian Democracy
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: The East Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Teoceto

Population8.367 billion

FaithTecetamisin

CurrencyKolo
AnimalOwl

The Holy Empire of Teoceto is a colossal, cultured nation, renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, zero percent divorce rate, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 8.367 billion Teocetoans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Spirituality, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 97.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Teocetoan economy, worth a remarkable 1,717 trillion Koloes a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an amazing 205,258 Koloes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The national census includes an opt-in to join the government-run dating service, vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction, sex offenders find themselves cut off from the ability to repeat their crimes, and all fantasy fiction has officially been deemed non-canon. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Teoceto's national animal is the Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Tecetamisin.

Teoceto is ranked 225,346th in the world and 9,012th in The East Pacific for Largest Agricultural Sector, scoring -27.44 on the Mu-Bah-Daggs Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Devout: 8thMost Ignorant Citizens: 46thMost Primitive: 49thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 323rdBest Weather: 413thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 782ndLargest Black Market: 846thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 914thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,034thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,061stMost Beautiful Environments: 1,271stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,886thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,940thTop
5%
Highest Poor Incomes: 2,351stMost Cultured: 2,459thLowest Crime Rates: 2,766thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,921stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,971stMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,034thMost Efficient Economies: 4,130thLargest Governments: 5,618thHighest Average Incomes: 5,861stMost Advanced Public Education: 6,505thHighest Economic Output: 9,223rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 9,454thLargest Welfare Programs: 9,560thTop
10%
Most Stationary: 11,320thMost Authoritarian: 14,751stMost Influential: 15,229thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 20,171st
Top
1%
Most Devout: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Primitive: 3rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionBest Weather: 10th in the regionLargest Black Market: 14th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 18th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 22nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 24th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 27th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 38th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 46th in the regionMost Cultured: 54th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 59th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 60th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 67th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 71st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 74th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 81st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 83rd in the regionTop
5%
Highest Average Incomes: 118th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 143rd in the regionLargest Governments: 148th in the regionMost Stationary: 167th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 183rd in the regionLargest Populations: 255th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 286th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 319th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 598th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 707th in the regionMost Influential: 754th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 765th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Teoceto, all fantasy fiction has officially been deemed non-canon.
  • : Following new legislation in Teoceto, sex offenders find themselves cut off from the ability to repeat their crimes.
  • : Following new legislation in Teoceto, vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction.
  • : Following new legislation in Teoceto, the national census includes an opt-in to join the government-run dating service.
  • : Following new legislation in Teoceto, droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police.
  • : Following new legislation in Teoceto, government ministers are regularly seen in the streets confessing their sins and hammering missiles into plow-shares.
  • : Following new legislation in Teoceto, bands of adventurers rove the countryside searching for monsters.
  • : Following new legislation in Teoceto, diaper sales are up.
  • : Teoceto was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Foreign Aid Spending.
  • : Following new legislation in Teoceto, the government is proud to report that ten percent of all tax revenue goes to funding suspected terrorist organizations.

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