by Max Barry

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The Holy Empire of Tepuzhuacan

“Zoinks”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Very Strong
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: Cannibalism is not ok

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Tepuzhuacan

Population492 million

CapitalTepic

Currencypeso
Animalalpaca

The Holy Empire of Tepuzhuacan is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 492 million Tepuzhuacanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Administration, Law & Order, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while International Aid and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tepic. The average income tax rate is 34.4%.

The very strong Tepuzhuacanian economy, worth 48.3 trillion pesos a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Retail, and Tourism. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 98,081 pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's green cities are indeed concrete jungles, unwary hikers climbing the bluffs of Mount Tepic make great practice for foreign snipers, citizens no longer take selfies with their dead relatives at funerals, and gardeners must genetically test weeds for unique traits before digging them up. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Tepuzhuacan's national animal is the alpaca, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Tepuzhuacan is ranked 134,486th in the world and 2nd in Cannibalism is not ok for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 131.21 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,353rdTop
5%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 2,419thMost Primitive: 3,024thMost Devout: 7,439thMost Authoritarian: 7,814thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8,122ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 8,762ndMost Conservative: 8,838thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11,003rdTop
10%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 12,202ndLargest Retail Industry: 13,963rdMost Corrupt Governments: 14,090thBest Weather: 14,523rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 20,359th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Tepuzhuacan, gardeners must genetically test weeds for unique traits before digging them up.
  • : Following new legislation in Tepuzhuacan, citizens no longer take selfies with their dead relatives at funerals.
  • : Following new legislation in Tepuzhuacan, unwary hikers climbing the bluffs of Mount Tepic make great practice for foreign snipers.
  • : Following new legislation in Tepuzhuacan, the nation's green cities are indeed concrete jungles.
  • : Following new legislation in Tepuzhuacan, customs officials often double as wedding officiants.
  • : Following new legislation in Tepuzhuacan, citizens who become homeless are immediately executed.
  • : Tepuzhuacan was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Following new legislation in Tepuzhuacan, citizens try to pass off bottlecaps they found in their backyards as historical artifacts.
  • : Following new legislation in Tepuzhuacan, the nation's orphanages and maternity wards have been nicknamed 'the Killbot Factories'.
  • : Tepuzhuacan was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Agricultural Sector and the Top 10% for Highest Disposable Incomes.

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