The United Socialist States of Terpkoland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Terpko with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, vat-grown people, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 20.364 billion Terpkolandians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Education are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Terpkoland City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 90.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Terpkolandian economy, worth a remarkable 9,705 trillion Terpkoes a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 476,580 Terpkoes, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,955,733 per year while the poor average 11,539, a ratio of 342 to 1.

Heartbroken parents are urged to "smile for the camera", an increasing number of knights in shining armor suffer from PTSD, arts classes now teach children how to sketch the perfect sine curve, and the state believes that children are what you make of them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Terpkoland's national animal is the Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Terppoxium.

Terpkoland is ranked 2,470^th in the world and 115^th in Lazarus for Largest Governments, scoring 52.48 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.