by Max Barry

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The Eternal Misfortune of Thalasse

“Stop Reading My Motto!”

Category: Liberal Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Superb

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Thalasse

Population16.65 billion

CapitalThalasse City
LeaderLeader
FaithPeace

CurrencyFlower
AnimalRadioactive Butterfly

The Eternal Misfortune of Thalasse is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, prohibition of alcohol, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 16.65 billion Thalasseans love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded, outspoken government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Thalasse City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Thalassean economy, worth a remarkable 5,148 trillion Flowers a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. Average income is an amazing 309,218 Flowers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security, no one gossips with Leader during diplomatic summits, criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat, and lifelong celibates are surprised to receive government-issue condoms in the post. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thalasse's national animal is the Radioactive Butterfly, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Peace.

Thalasse is ranked 31st in the world and 2nd in the South Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 51,926.41 on the Edu-tellignce Test Score.

Top
1%
Most Inclusive: 1stLargest Welfare Programs: 4thMost Compassionate Citizens: 5thLeast Corrupt Governments: 6thNicest Citizens: 7thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 7thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8thHighest Food Quality: 10thMost Pacifist: 11thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 16thBest Weather: 16thMost Developed: 17thLongest Average Lifespans: 20thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 21stHealthiest Citizens: 24thSafest: 29thMost Advanced Public Education: 31stMost Beautiful Environments: 32ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 32ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 45thMost Cheerful Citizens: 58thLargest Governments: 94thMost Cultured: 109thLowest Crime Rates: 146thMost Advanced Public Transport: 278thMost Subsidized Industry: 443rdHighest Poor Incomes: 467thMost Rebellious Youth: 585thSmartest Citizens: 680thMost Efficient Economies: 684thHighest Average Incomes: 2,091stHighest Economic Output: 2,589thMost Income Equality: 2,593rdTop
5%
Most Devout: 5,250thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 12,249thTop
10%
Largest Populations: 18,305thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 23,643rdMost Influential: 27,270th
Top
1%
Least Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionNicest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 2nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 3rd in the regionMost Cultured: 4th in the regionBest Weather: 4th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 5th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 14th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 23rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 23rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 24th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 26th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 56th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 64th in the regionTop
5%
Most Devout: 120th in the regionMost Income Equality: 159th in the regionLargest Populations: 196th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 221st in the regionNudest: 438th in the regionMost Stationary: 533rd in the regionTop
10%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 676th in the regionMost Patriotic: 679th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, lifelong celibates are surprised to receive government-issue condoms in the post.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, no one gossips with Leader during diplomatic summits.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, you need two tenors and a coloratura contralto to sing the national anthem properly.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, there's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, sleeping on the job is recommended.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, celebrities sit helplessly as they are labeled "pompous womples" by Leader.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions.

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