by Max Barry

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The Eternal Misfortune of Thalasse

“Stop Reading My Motto!”

Category: Liberal Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
World Benchmark

Regional Influence: Truckler

Location: Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Thalasse

Population20.984 billion

CapitalThalasse City
LeaderLeader
FaithPeace

CurrencyFlower
AnimalRadioactive Butterfly

The Eternal Misfortune of Thalasse is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, lack of airports, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 20.984 billion Thalasseans love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded, outspoken government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Thalasse City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Thalassean economy, worth a remarkable 7,308 trillion Flowers a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an amazing 348,280 Flowers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies, glamping Thalasseans won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi, children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life, and citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thalasse's national animal is the Radioactive Butterfly, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Peace.

Thalasse is ranked 42,972nd in the world and 11th in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Nudest, with 216.25 cheeks per square mile.

Top
1%
Most Inclusive: 1stHighest Food Quality: 2ndLeast Corrupt Governments: 2ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 3rdNicest Citizens: 4thLargest Welfare Programs: 4thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 10thMost Developed: 11thMost Pacifist: 11thLongest Average Lifespans: 13thSafest: 13thBest Weather: 14thHealthiest Citizens: 16thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 20thMost Advanced Public Education: 23rdMost Beautiful Environments: 24thHighest Average Tax Rates: 24thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 26thMost Cheerful Citizens: 35thLargest Governments: 46thMost Cultured: 46thLowest Crime Rates: 54thMost Advanced Public Transport: 179thHighest Poor Incomes: 415thSmartest Citizens: 496thMost Efficient Economies: 593rdMost Rebellious Youth: 624thMost Subsidized Industry: 627thHighest Economic Output: 1,784thHighest Average Incomes: 1,854thMost Income Equality: 2,255thTop
5%
Most Devout: 4,215thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5,132ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6,652ndTop
10%
Largest Populations: 16,812thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 22,450thLargest Publishing Industry: 23,902nd
Top
5%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionNicest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most Beautiful Environments: 2nd in the regionBest Weather: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Income Equality: 3rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 3rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, glamping Thalasseans won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, kindergarten teachers with ankle-bracelets are closely supervised by their parole officers.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, literally voiceless people are unable to protest when food and water are denied to them.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, hordes of tourists are ruining the environment.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, the government supplies ragtag bands of resistance fighters in exchange for vague promises of future payment.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, you need two tenors and a coloratura contralto to sing the national anthem properly.
  • : Following new legislation in Thalasse, children are raised bilingual from an early age.

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