by Max Barry

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The Process State of The Albertan Empire

“Shoot, Shovel, and Shut up!”

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Negotiator

Location: Eladen

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

The Albertan Empire

Population28.015 billion

CapitalBunker 3432
LeaderTerminal 6A
FaithTerminal Maximus

CurrencyCanadian Tire Dollar
AnimalPrairie Oyster

The Process State of The Albertan Empire is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Terminal 6A with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, deadly medical pandemics, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 28.015 billion Human Resources are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bunker 3432. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Empirean economy, worth a remarkable 7,804 trillion Canadian Tire Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 278,574 Canadian Tire Dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,236,945 per year while the poor average 39,114, a ratio of 31.6 to 1.

Punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up, vacationing Human Resources expect to be treated as royalty, millions of Human Resources are excellent swimmers, and preservative-laden Empirean cheeses will be as edible when archaeologists dig them up next millennium. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. The Albertan Empire's national animal is the Prairie Oyster, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Terminal Maximus.

The Albertan Empire is ranked 17,426th in the world and 25th in Eladen for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 267.7 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.

Top
1%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 363rdMost Avoided: 400thLargest Mining Sector: 451stFattest Citizens: 488thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 500thHighest Economic Output: 610thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 710thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 735thHighest Disposable Incomes: 775thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 789thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 826thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 907thMost Efficient Economies: 946thLargest Gambling Industry: 966thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,059thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,291stMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,503rdLargest Insurance Industry: 1,506thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,550thLargest Retail Industry: 1,652ndTop
5%
Highest Average Incomes: 2,099thLargest Populations: 2,205thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,635thMost Secular: 2,831stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4,373rdRudest Citizens: 4,978thLargest Information Technology Sector: 6,642ndLargest Black Market: 7,779thMost Armed: 8,040thTop
10%
Most Influential: 8,994thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 11,317thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 11,320thMost Pro-Market: 12,065thMost Stationary: 12,813thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16,382nd
Top
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 2nd in the regionTop
10%
Most Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Secular: 4th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : The Albertan Empire was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Retail Industry.
  • : The Albertan Empire was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most World Assembly Endorsements.
  • : The Albertan Empire was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Armed.
  • : The Albertan Empire was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector.
  • : The Albertan Empire was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in The Albertan Empire, preservative-laden Empirean cheeses will be as edible when archaeologists dig them up next millennium.
  • : Following new legislation in The Albertan Empire, millions of Human Resources are excellent swimmers.
  • : Following new legislation in The Albertan Empire, vacationing Human Resources expect to be treated as royalty.
  • : Following new legislation in The Albertan Empire, punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up.
  • : Following new legislation in The Albertan Empire, kids only know what plants are because they've seen them on the television.

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