by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Democratic Republic of The Columbian Republic

“Liberty and Equality”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
All-Consuming
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Balder

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

The Columbian Republic

Population5.029 billion

CapitalCapitol City
LeaderGeneral Secretary Steele

CurrencyCredit
AnimalBear

The Democratic Republic of The Columbian Republic is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by General Secretary Steele with an iron fist, and renowned for its disturbing lack of elderly people, public floggings, and enforced nudity. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.029 billion Columbians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Healthcare, and Public Transport are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capitol City. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The all-consuming Columbian economy, worth a remarkable 1,032 trillion Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 205,288 Credits, with the richest citizens earning 9.6 times as much as the poorest.

Frat-house partying has become the national pastime, a government program is underway to revitalize The Columbian Republic's beaches, the people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth, and therapists can always squeeze in another house-call. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Columbian Republic's national animal is the Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Columbian Republic is ranked 85,708th in the world and 3,250th in Balder for Largest Agricultural Sector, scoring 2,189.24 on the Mu-Bah-Daggs Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 233rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 324thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 720thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 863rdLargest Black Market: 1,535thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,638thTop
5%
Most Advanced Public Education: 2,590thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,669thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,863rdLargest Mining Sector: 3,300thLowest Crime Rates: 3,420thNudest: 4,116thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,790thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,076thHighest Average Incomes: 5,865thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 6,014thMost Conservative: 6,342ndMost Authoritarian: 6,348thLargest Governments: 6,595thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6,619thHealthiest Citizens: 7,237thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9,778thMost Avoided: 9,984thTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 14,416thHighest Economic Output: 16,546thMost Secular: 20,077thMost Extreme: 22,153rd
Top
1%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 13th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 13th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 30th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 31st in the regionLargest Black Market: 69th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 84th in the regionTop
5%
Most Subsidized Industry: 101st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 104th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 138th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 166th in the regionNudest: 170th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 171st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 194th in the regionMost Conservative: 238th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 248th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 275th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 282nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 311th in the regionLargest Governments: 330th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 377th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 394th in the regionMost Extreme: 405th in the regionTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 484th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 517th in the regionMost Avoided: 527th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 776th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Columbian Republic, therapists can always squeeze in another house-call.
  • : Following new legislation in The Columbian Republic, the people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth.
  • : Following new legislation in The Columbian Republic, a government program is underway to revitalize The Columbian Republic's beaches.
  • : Following new legislation in The Columbian Republic, frat-house partying has become the national pastime.
  • : Following new legislation in The Columbian Republic, theatre may or may not be changing for the better but it is being changed for good.
  • : Following new legislation in The Columbian Republic, there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the Columbian military.
  • : Following new legislation in The Columbian Republic, jaywalking is punishable by public flogging.
  • : Following new legislation in The Columbian Republic, breaking rocks in the hot sun now involves using your head.
  • : Following new legislation in The Columbian Republic, professionals are ready to retire by the time they receive permission to use their credentials.
  • : Following new legislation in The Columbian Republic, six-year-old children playing dress-up are viewed with suspicion.

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