The United Federation of The Free Falklands is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Stanford Stanley with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, museums and concert halls, and punitive income tax rates. The quiet, industrious population of 4.616 billion Free Falklandsians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Falksburg. The average income tax rate is 80.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Free Falklandsian economy, worth 513 trillion Falks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 111,150 Falks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Women don't report crimes to the emergency services for fear of being arrested, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, motivational posters send motorists positive vibes in high-risk areas, and the number of eyes rolled per maths lesson is increasing exponentially. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Free Falklands's national animal is the Sheep, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Stanfordtism.

The Free Falklands is ranked 196,629^th in the world and 3,017^th in the South Pacific for Most Secular, with 16.02 Atheism Rate.