by Max Barry

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The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State

The Free Joy State was Condemned by Security Council Resolution # 333

“Obedience is Man's Greatest Strength”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Nipper

Location: Lazarus

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Issues Editor

The Free Joy State

Population14.591 billion

CapitalGrand Central City
LeaderExalted Holiness
FaithThe True Church of the Exalted Holiness

CurrencySweeting
AnimalDove

The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, lack of airports, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.591 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 3,587 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 245,881 Sweetings, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,287,126 per year while the poor average 25,199, a ratio of 51.1 to 1.

Government statistics suggest 115% of the population love Exalted Holiness, gossip magazines have been replaced by mask catalogs, the line of people waiting for a visa interview in front of foreign embassies is typically a mile long, and soldiers are taught to throw their guns at their enemies once the bullets have run out. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 13,279th in the world and 610th in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100.03 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 262ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 268thMost Devout: 411thMost Primitive: 454thLargest Insurance Industry: 606thLargest Mining Sector: 977thLargest Black Market: 1,123rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,355thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,358thFattest Citizens: 1,432ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,524thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,644thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,649thMost Avoided: 1,920thMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,233rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,414thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,475thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,638thTop
5%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 4,076thHighest Average Incomes: 4,127thHighest Economic Output: 4,382ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5,491stMost Conservative: 6,002ndMost Patriotic: 6,905thHighest Disposable Incomes: 9,314thMost Subsidized Industry: 10,669thMost Efficient Economies: 13,279thTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,797thLargest Governments: 14,030thLowest Crime Rates: 14,231stMost Authoritarian: 19,902ndLargest Populations: 20,461stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 26,822ndGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 27,215th
Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 11th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 11th in the regionMost Devout: 18th in the regionMost Primitive: 21st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 34th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 40th in the regionLargest Black Market: 50th in the regionFattest Citizens: 60th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 64th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 68th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 69th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 70th in the regionTop
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 84th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 87th in the regionMost Avoided: 87th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 108th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 115th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 120th in the regionMost Conservative: 142nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 174th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 197th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 198th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 229th in the regionMost Patriotic: 281st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 328th in the regionTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 431st in the regionMost Extreme: 436th in the regionLargest Populations: 568th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 576th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 610th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 631st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 647th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 690th in the regionLargest Governments: 766th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : The Free Joy State's influence in Lazarus rose from "Newcomer" to "Nipper".
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, soldiers are taught to throw their guns at their enemies once the bullets have run out.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Efficient Economies.
  • : The Free Joy State's influence in Lazarus rose from "Hatchling" to "Newcomer".
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, the line of people waiting for a visa interview in front of foreign embassies is typically a mile long.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, gossip magazines have been replaced by mask catalogs.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : The Free Joy State's influence in Lazarus rose from "Unproven" to "Hatchling".
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, government statistics suggest 115% of the population love Exalted Holiness.

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