by Max Barry

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The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State

The Free Joy State was Condemned by Security Council Resolution # 333

“Obedience is Man's Greatest Strength”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Page

Location: the Pacific

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Issues Editor

The Free Joy State

Population11.949 billion

CapitalGrand Central City
LeaderExalted Holiness
FaithThe True Church of the Exalted Holiness

CurrencySweeting
AnimalDove

The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, infamous sell-swords, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.949 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 64.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 2,910 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 243,613 Sweetings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,096,258 per year while the poor average 33,397, a ratio of 32.8 to 1.

The relatives of suicide victims tend to be angry rather than sad, pre-eclampsia in pregnancy is treated with encouragement to take "long soothing walks", prisoners pray grey skies are gonna clear up, and children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 231,125th in the world and 6,030th in the Pacific for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 6.9 Tourists Per Hour.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 234thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 301stMost Devout: 355thMost Primitive: 577thLargest Insurance Industry: 756thLargest Black Market: 932ndLargest Mining Sector: 1,077thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,150thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,300thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,304thFattest Citizens: 1,383rdMost Avoided: 1,469thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,496thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,594thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,793rdTop
5%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,398thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,471stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,641stHighest Average Incomes: 3,660thLargest Agricultural Sector: 4,293rdHighest Economic Output: 4,807thMost Conservative: 5,426thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 7,055thHighest Disposable Incomes: 8,085thLargest Gambling Industry: 8,874thMost Subsidized Industry: 10,768thTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 13,009thLowest Crime Rates: 13,161stLargest Governments: 13,452ndMost Influential: 14,260thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 15,273rdMost Authoritarian: 15,656thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 18,905thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 21,673rdLargest Populations: 22,228th
Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 10th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 11th in the regionMost Primitive: 13th in the regionMost Devout: 13th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 20th in the regionLargest Black Market: 20th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 23rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 26th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 27th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 27th in the regionMost Avoided: 33rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 36th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 41st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 41st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 46th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 55th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 63rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 63rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 67th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 99th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 108th in the regionLargest Populations: 118th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 157th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 184th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 187th in the regionMost Conservative: 201st in the regionMost Influential: 218th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 220th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 254th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 280th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 303rd in the regionTop
10%
Largest Governments: 329th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 349th in the regionMost Extreme: 477th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 545th in the regionMost Stationary: 581st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 604th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, prisoners pray grey skies are gonna clear up.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, pre-eclampsia in pregnancy is treated with encouragement to take "long soothing walks".
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, the relatives of suicide victims tend to be angry rather than sad.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, public shaming has become the favoured form of punishment.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, the military is plagued with unethical researchers.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, real chickens replace rooster weather vanes on inner-city rooftop gardens.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, The Free Joy State isn't what it used to be.
  • : The Free Joy State altered its national flag.

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