The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, fear of technology, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.074 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 3,219 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 246,269 Sweetings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,108,212 per year while the poor average 33,761, a ratio of 32.8 to 1.

Many of the unemployed have had the fight taken out of them, citizens often glare angrily at jet contrails, a citizen who thinks a slave is a deadbeat is entitled to make the descriptor literally true, and maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 1,247^th in the world and 39^th in the Pacific for Most Valuable International Artwork, with 680.32 Bank.