by Max Barry

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The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State

“Obedience is Man's Greatest Strength”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Page

Location: the Pacific

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Issues Editor

The Free Joy State

Population11.274 billion

CapitalGrand Central City
LeaderExalted Holiness
FaithThe True Church of the Exalted Holiness

CurrencySweeting
AnimalDove

The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.274 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 61.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 2,690 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 238,613 Sweetings, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,332,488 per year while the poor average 21,289, a ratio of 62.6 to 1.

No true communist is an unbeliever, motorbike jousters live young and die fast, funeral mourners ridesharing with the deceased are encouraged to sit on the coffin to save room, and the nation's girls answer "apple" when asked what makes pi. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 97,958th in the world and 2,951st in the Pacific for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 847.83 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 225thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 289thMost Devout: 365thMost Primitive: 579thLargest Insurance Industry: 793rdLargest Black Market: 930thLargest Mining Sector: 1,041stMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,134thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,169thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,355thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,463rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,503rdMost Avoided: 1,533rdFattest Citizens: 1,564thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,716thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,156thTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,549thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,775thHighest Average Incomes: 3,812thHighest Economic Output: 5,080thMost Conservative: 5,609thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,529thLargest Agricultural Sector: 7,000thHighest Disposable Incomes: 7,779thLargest Gambling Industry: 8,207thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,047thTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 11,885thMost Efficient Economies: 12,545thLowest Crime Rates: 13,783rdLargest Governments: 13,973rdMost Influential: 14,877thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 18,407thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 18,815thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 20,232nd
Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 9th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Devout: 15th in the regionMost Primitive: 16th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 18th in the regionLargest Black Market: 19th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 23rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 26th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 28th in the regionFattest Citizens: 28th in the regionMost Avoided: 32nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 32nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 35th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 39th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 48th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 64th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Economic Output: 70th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 72nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 74th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 94th in the regionLargest Populations: 122nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 155th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 164th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 171st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 175th in the regionMost Conservative: 208th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 221st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 227th in the regionMost Influential: 231st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 305th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Governments: 344th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 375th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 441st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 478th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 661st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 666th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, the nation's girls answer "apple" when asked what makes pi.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, funeral mourners ridesharing with the deceased are encouraged to sit on the coffin to save room.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, motorbike jousters live young and die fast.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Populations.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Populations.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, no true communist is an unbeliever.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, unwilling fathers wish they had looked for a late-night pharmacy.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Populations.

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