The Free Land of The Free Land is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by General Representative with a fair hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, aversion to nipples, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 4.799 billion Free Landers are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Industry and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Google Docs. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Landian economy, worth 651 trillion lands a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 135,739 lands, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,232,145 per year while the poor average 1,733, a ratio of 710 to 1.

Hackers post hourly updates on international summits, street preachers sell salvation with a side order of shame on every corner, diabetics find the contents of their medications hard to stomach, and vacationers and business travelers are often warned that they may lose the right to vote if they spend too much time overseas. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Free Land's national animal is the salamander, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

The Free Land is ranked 31,897^th in the world and 29^th in Mitteleuropa for Most Cultured, scoring 80 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.