by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Republic of The Freedom Loving Pineapples

“ I like money”

Category: Corporate Bordello
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: The Pale Blue Region


The Freedom Loving Pineapples

Population8.431 billion

AnimalDung beetle

The Republic of The Freedom Loving Pineapples is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its daily referendums, frequent executions, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 8.431 billion corporate slaves are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.2%.

The frighteningly efficient pineapplesian economy, worth 903 trillion Pen-pineapple-apple-pens a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 107,187 Pen-pineapple-apple-pens, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 520,885 per year while the poor average 12,739, a ratio of 40.9 to 1.

Nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers, toxic smog is dismissed as the populace just "letting off steam", the Great pineapplesian Melting Pot boils out ethnic heritage, and visions of giant pink Dung beetles are a common side effect after corporate slaves eat their meals. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Freedom Loving Pineapples's national animal is the Dung beetle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Freedom Loving Pineapples is ranked 24,297th in the world and 1st in The Pale Blue Region for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 202.72 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,652ndTop
Highest Crime Rates: 1,875thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,701stFattest Citizens: 3,105thLargest Gambling Industry: 3,670thMost Avoided: 4,400thMost Armed: 4,433rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4,566thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,053rdLargest Retail Industry: 5,654thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,831stRudest Citizens: 5,933rdMost Rebellious Youth: 8,385thTop
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 9,788thMost Pro-Market: 15,393rdHighest Economic Output: 16,226thLargest Mining Sector: 16,291st

National Happenings

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