by Max Barry

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The Republic of The Freedom Loving Pineapples

“ I like money”

Category: Corporate Bordello
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: The Pale Blue Region


The Freedom Loving Pineapples

Population9.977 billion

AnimalDung beetle

The Republic of The Freedom Loving Pineapples is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its frequent executions, enslaved workforce, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 9.977 billion corporate slaves are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.1%.

The frighteningly efficient pineapplesian economy, worth a remarkable 1,072 trillion Pen-pineapple-apple-pens a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 107,473 Pen-pineapple-apple-pens, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 806,050 per year while the poor average 4,134, a ratio of 194 to 1.

Nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers, toxic smog is dismissed as the populace just "letting off steam", the Great pineapplesian Melting Pot boils out ethnic heritage, and visions of giant pink Dung beetles are a common side effect after corporate slaves eat their meals. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Freedom Loving Pineapples's national animal is the Dung beetle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Freedom Loving Pineapples is ranked 205,120th in the world and 2nd in The Pale Blue Region for Safest, scoring 5.54 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1,198thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,869thHighest Crime Rates: 2,078thTop
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,238thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,812thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,183rdFattest Citizens: 3,293rdLargest Gambling Industry: 4,244thMost Avoided: 4,854thHighest Disposable Incomes: 6,100thLargest Retail Industry: 6,298thRudest Citizens: 6,361stMost Rebellious Youth: 8,605thMost Armed: 9,535thTop
Highest Economic Output: 15,618thMost Stationary: 15,719thLargest Mining Sector: 20,330thMost Influential: 20,336thMost Pro-Market: 20,924th

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