by Max Barry

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The Papal State of The Holy Catholic Church-

“Gloria in Excelsis Deo”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
All-Consuming
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: the Rejected Realms

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

The Holy Catholic Church-

Population1.455 billion

CapitalRome
LeaderPope Francis
FaithRoman Catholicism

CurrencyLira
AnimalLamb

The Papal State of The Holy Catholic Church- is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Pope Francis with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, hatred of cheese, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.455 billion Catholics are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rome. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The all-consuming Catholic economy, worth 145 trillion Lire a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Tourism industry. Average income is an impressive 100,298 Lire, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Telling someone to 'break a leg' is considered a criminal inducement to self harm, betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and police officers catch up on their paperwork while handing their caseload to PIs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Holy Catholic Church-'s national animal is the Lamb, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

The Holy Catholic Church- is ranked 35,257th in the world and 736th in the Rejected Realms for Smartest Citizens, with 49.1 quips per hour.

Top
1%
Most Devout: 1,282ndLargest Welfare Programs: 1,923rdMost Pacifist: 2,555thTop
5%
Most Authoritarian: 3,606thBest Weather: 3,745thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,752ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,794thLowest Crime Rates: 3,828thSafest: 3,865thLongest Average Lifespans: 4,697thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,809thHealthiest Citizens: 4,919thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5,400thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,583rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5,895thMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,252ndNicest Citizens: 6,291stMost Advanced Public Transport: 6,535thMost Beautiful Environments: 6,897thMost Cheerful Citizens: 8,342ndMost Advanced Public Education: 8,714thMost Income Equality: 9,675thLargest Governments: 10,924thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,153rdHighest Food Quality: 14,448thMost Cultured: 15,924thTop
10%
Highest Poor Incomes: 19,524thMost Conservative: 20,244thMost Developed: 22,751stMost Extreme: 26,134thMost Valuable International Artwork: 31,392nd
Top
1%
Most Devout: 30th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 47th in the regionTop
5%
Most Pacifist: 59th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 68th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 84th in the regionSafest: 90th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 93rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 98th in the regionBest Weather: 99th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 108th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 110th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 115th in the regionNicest Citizens: 116th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 117th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 119th in the regionMost Extreme: 126th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 130th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 132nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 140th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 156th in the regionMost Income Equality: 173rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 175th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 177th in the regionLargest Governments: 221st in the regionTop
10%
Highest Food Quality: 302nd in the regionMost Conservative: 324th in the regionMost Cultured: 343rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 384th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 424th in the regionMost Developed: 447th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Holy Catholic Church-, police officers catch up on their paperwork while handing their caseload to PIs.
  • : Following new legislation in The Holy Catholic Church-, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll.
  • : Following new legislation in The Holy Catholic Church-, betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant.
  • : Following new legislation in The Holy Catholic Church-, telling someone to 'break a leg' is considered a criminal inducement to self harm.
  • : Following new legislation in The Holy Catholic Church-, scientists are not permitted to ask questions.
  • : Following new legislation in The Holy Catholic Church-, photographs that show ladies' ankles are considered risqué.
  • : Following new legislation in The Holy Catholic Church-, war vets look after war animals.
  • : Following new legislation in The Holy Catholic Church-, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds.
  • : The Holy Catholic Church- was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Smartest Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in The Holy Catholic Church-, TV coverage of music festivals consists mostly of backstage interviews.

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