The Stoopid McDumface of The Northern Ice is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Nori with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, vat-grown people, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.266 billion Citizens are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ice Cube City. The average income tax rate is 69.5%.

The all-consuming Northern Icean economy, worth 133 trillion Euros a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 105,234 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Plain-clothes police officers follow Dàguó tourists everywhere they go, the government is a proud sponsor of the National Gaming Association, theoretical science is only theoretical, and meat-eating is frowned upon. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Northern Ice's national animal is the Arctic Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace.

The Northern Ice is ranked 84,831^st in the world and 1,612^th in The North Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 3,527.55 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.