by Max Barry

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The 18 Cowboys of The Real Ram Ranch

“18 happy friends at a slumber party.” Grant MacDonald

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The North Pacific


The Real Ram Ranch

Population2.222 billion

CapitalRam Ranch
LeaderGrant MacDonald

AnimalHome-Owning Man on the Sidewalk

The 18 Cowboys of The Real Ram Ranch is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Grant MacDonald with an iron fist, and remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.222 billion Cowboys are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ram Ranch. The average income tax rate is 90.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cowboy economy, worth 495 trillion showers a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 222,949 showers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Banning party poppers has been a real party pooper, no personal detail is too tiny for the suede-denim census police, the world still seems flat to some people in space, and many Cowboys twitch nervously at the sight of nuns. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Real Ram Ranch's national animal is the Home-Owning Man on the Sidewalk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Ranchanianism.

The Real Ram Ranch is ranked 176,819th in the world and 7,689th in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 7.62 Obesity Rate.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 570thMost Influential: 878thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,748thTop
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 2,092ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,256thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,943rdMost Corrupt Governments: 3,976thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,979thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,583rdHighest Average Incomes: 4,652ndLargest Publishing Industry: 4,705thLargest Black Market: 4,770thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6,102ndMost Devout: 6,671stMost Efficient Economies: 6,701stLargest Governments: 6,758thMost Developed: 6,999thMost Scientifically Advanced: 7,220thMost Cultured: 7,351stLongest Average Lifespans: 7,515thMost Advanced Public Education: 7,917thLargest Information Technology Sector: 8,347thHighest Average Tax Rates: 8,498thLargest Welfare Programs: 8,713thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,201stLowest Crime Rates: 9,217thSmartest Citizens: 9,713thHealthiest Citizens: 10,043rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 10,065thTop
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 15,403rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 15,950thLargest Agricultural Sector: 17,819thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 17,969th
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 89th in the regionTop
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 96th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 113th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 180th in the regionLargest Black Market: 209th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 230th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 233rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 233rd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 235th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 257th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 272nd in the regionMost Devout: 274th in the regionMost Influential: 323rd in the regionLargest Governments: 350th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 368th in the regionMost Cultured: 376th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 382nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 386th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 395th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 406th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 408th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 418th in the regionMost Developed: 421st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 448th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 456th in the regionTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 476th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 490th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 547th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 553rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 582nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 750th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 788th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 241 » Runeda, Territorio di Nessuno, Yaorozu, El Fiji Grande, The Rhein States, Loutsland, PlanetPunk, Great Bights Mum, Shadowrik, Trillius, Dar es Saalam, Dreadton, Corfad, New Octicarg, Notyoutopia, Guer Aike, Koda-Land, Glurponia, North Bratislava, Omnistria, Newpromisedland, Shibutani, Bearical, Selfgradatude, Daiz, 1 very fast endotarter, The Stratosphere Islands, Holy Oranz, Sundred, Zumlandia, New Lakemba, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Kwaj, Siwale, Sil Dorsett, McMasterdonia, The Tampa Bay Rays, Sunto, Kasazzastan, Maott, Pasargad, Wisconsota, Wineclaw, Steampunk Ariel, Gnomewatchers, Moubarakistan, Xentherida, Frances Francis the First of France, Kranostav, and 191 others.Wilkshire, Yukti, PotatoFarmers, Clan Spaniel, Pazair, Orado, The Iron Lions, Seenvorland, Vincone Cae, Dabarastan, United Kahndaq, Viridiann, Preble, Zyvetskistaahn, Pallaith, Ethnon, Fraguale Cothe, Interdimensional Zone, Ravendi, Tachycardia, Zokk, Abject Ludicrosity, Valhalla123, Empy, Prydania, Partax, Misthas, Serendipita Martia, Aeurithianar, Xagill, Valentine Z, Austral States of America, Fendlium, Fizban, Praeceps, Zecit, Infinitis, 2nd Confederacy of Independent Systems, Volstokn, Loli County, Cobleck Weleis, Malta Comino Gozo, Alamei, Avemterra, Napnomadia, Makersaulache, Jovian Knights, Pauliestien, Hamerica, Free Culture, Solmetria, Kelvaros Prime, Noahs Second Country, Universal State Formula, Yokciq Empire, Woodsend, Hyphen, The New Communist Republic Of States, Pleroma Sans Romans, Wit Noreis, Merconitonitopia, MiaryBhalzhack, The Endless Eventide, New Jamgra, Votak Matim, Joodey, Psychotic Vegans, KhalChicken, Olofin, Vexilia, Xyrron, Miamington, West Hamburg, SherpDaWerp in TNP, The Lancerian Empire, Ihese, Prevaland, Crader, Godwanna, New Trisone, The Windmilluminati, Stone Ira, New Avian, Diodone, Plangainer, SORT, Antiyard, Singamadri, Nisastria, Nistriabar, Westinor, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Varola, Unsophisticate, Unshleepd, Irishvan, Ereena, Solskjar, Schnuftelland, U S Eh, The Pantheons, Korovan Isles, Zeternia, The Most Freedom Ever, Astronomical, Solimun, Beasluxia, Fauzjhia, Oceanialia, Mesopotama, The Serdey Islands, Greater Pittsburgh, Frostcell, Sikol, Saperisole, Zzozona, Fluffy Noodles, True Equality For All, Aeolist, Termathe, I Like Killing people, Former English Colony, Libertania Democratica, The Calabash Protectorate, Shinjuku tokyo 0, Kocherian, Asoc lon, Ihsan, Mimia, Sevinland, Seanat, Brucklania, Arichia, The United States of Nuclear Weapons, Solcius, Fayyayid, Eywaan, Principia Mathematica, Damsmel, Smesh, Highton Islands, Yellops, Caselpania, Nouvelle-Floride, Unimaginable Doom, Fracie, Maclare, Yalgora, Simone Republic, Pokemanland, Madjack, Animu Place, Hopsin, The Noviosyus, Xipher, The Federal Republic of Scouseland, Neu-Galicia, Palisede, Kragsgale, Amerian States, Dangine, Astal Aavors, Illusia and Neverendia, Ultra777, Andexia, Buckhem, WeKnow, Tikariot, Eastern Cous Empria, Heilhum Imperius, Democratic Republic of Kohland, Easternryke, Eschatosia, Fitchy, Xyroxes, Draconian Progression, Therizia, Aerilia, Cretox State, Morover, Harjad, Lulubellia, Outer Shenendoah, Glanst, Comfed, Amprak, The Kingdom Of Wagies, Chips and Guac, Navsland, Rozarus, and Hardscrabble.

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