The Armed Republic of THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Randini The Great with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.39 billion HAPPYLANDIANS are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Joyous. The average income tax rate is 94.9%.

The powerhouse REGIME OF HAPPYLANDian economy, worth a remarkable 1,648 trillion Cheers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 257,974 Cheers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

A nickname of "Doctor Death" probably indicates a decorated war hero, children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines, molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public, and a government program is underway to revitalize THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND's beaches. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND's national animal is the Puppy dog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND is ranked 5,217^th in the world and 267^th in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 115.54 law-abiding acts per hour.