The Kingdom of The Sacristy is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by The Lord Almighty with an even hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, frequent executions, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed population of 36.462 billion Sacristans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Spirituality, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Roma. The average income tax rate is 49.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Sacristanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,537 trillion coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 42,155 coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly, bike rage is all the rage, chests full of green leaves dumped into the harbor have many murmuring against the government, and streaming video is considered to be a myth by most citizens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Sacristy's national animal is the donkey and its national religion is Catholicism.

The Sacristy is ranked 230,821^st in the world and 1^st in Christ for Highest Average Incomes, with 42,155.01 Standard Monetary Units.