by Max Barry

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The Croupier of The Sands Casino

“Place your bets, please”

Category: Benevolent Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Superb
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Power

Location: The Sands

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

The Sands Casino

Population7.216 billion

Capitalthe poker table
LeaderLady Fortune
Faithgetting rich quick

Currencychip
Animalgambler

The Croupier of The Sands Casino is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Lady Fortune with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 7.216 billion gamblers enjoy great individual freedoms in everything except elections, which, where they exist at all, are populist shams for a dictatorship government that has no intention of ever giving up power.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, although Law & Order and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the poker table. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.8%.

The frighteningly efficient gambling economy, worth a remarkable 1,005 trillion chips a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 139,286 chips, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 488,721 per year while the poor average 28,796, a ratio of 17.0 to 1.

Chewing tree bark proves to have limited value during childbirth, third world countries are rich in "I Love The Poker Table" t-shirts, the first step of recovery from alcoholism usually entails buying a bicycle, and homesickness is thought to be a waterborne illness. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Sands Casino's national animal is the gambler, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is getting rich quick.

The Sands Casino is ranked 176,522nd in the world and 11th in The Sands for Smartest Citizens, with 20.99 Quips Per Hour.

Top
1%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,138thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,575thLargest Retail Industry: 1,755thFattest Citizens: 1,936thMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,185thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,254thTop
5%
Highest Crime Rates: 2,308thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,368thHighest Disposable Incomes: 3,574thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,395thMost Avoided: 5,086thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 6,423rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,630thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7,042ndRudest Citizens: 7,792ndMost Armed: 8,186thMost Rebellious Youth: 8,751stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 10,751stTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 14,737thMost Corrupt Governments: 15,791stHighest Average Incomes: 16,396thHighest Economic Output: 17,172ndMost Influential: 17,391stMost Cultured: 17,400thMost Stationary: 17,490thHighest Drug Use: 17,745thMost Inclusive: 20,382ndLargest Insurance Industry: 21,777th
Top
10%
Fattest Citizens: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : The Sands Casino lodged a message on the The Sands Regional Message Board.
  • : The Sands Casino was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Unexpected Death Rate.
  • : Following new legislation in The Sands Casino, homesickness is thought to be a waterborne illness.
  • : Following new legislation in The Sands Casino, the first step of recovery from alcoholism usually entails buying a bicycle.
  • : Following new legislation in The Sands Casino, third world countries are rich in "I Love The Poker Table" t-shirts.
  • : Following new legislation in The Sands Casino, chewing tree bark proves to have limited value during childbirth.
  • : Following new legislation in The Sands Casino, the government refuses to transmit electricity to secessionist regions.
  • : The Sands Casino was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Insurance Industry.
  • : The Sands Casino updated the World Factbook entry in The Sands.
  • : The Sands Casino published "A Place In The Sun - 15 October" (Account: Culture).

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