The Island Conglomerate of The Unified Missourtama States is a massive, genial nation, ruled by TUMS with an even hand, and notable for its ban on automobiles, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, humorless population of 3.445 billion Missourtaman are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Furbel. The average income tax rate is 98.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Missourtaman economy, worth 457 trillion souls a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. Average income is an impressive 132,685 souls, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, it is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma, and getting an autograph has become harder than ever. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Unified Missourtama States's national animal is the soulpengird, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Violetism.

The Unified Missourtama States is ranked 202,138^th in the world and 127^th in South Pacific for Highest Drug Use, scoring 27.6 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.