The Golden Holy Kaiserreich of TheGoldenEmpireGermany is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Commander Arminus the Holy the 2nd with an iron fist, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, aversion to nipples, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.577 billion Golden Germans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Holy Golden City of Munich. The average income tax rate is 69.1%.

The powerhouse Germanic economy, worth 147 trillion German Golds a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is 93,463 German Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

A five-year-old and a convicted terrorist can sit alongside one another in jury service, going on a diet invalidates your passport, politicians accost strangers in the street to ask their problems, and there is now a private sector based on doomsday devices (TheGoldenEmpireGermany has found 1 easter egg). Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. TheGoldenEmpireGermany's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Church of Kaiserism.

TheGoldenEmpireGermany is ranked 314,993^rd in the world and 44^th in The Northern Union for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring -12.41 on the Hickory Productivity Index.