by Max Barry

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The Borderlands of Thistledom

“Sit down, shut up, and drink your tea.”

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Ambassador

Location: Haiku

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Thistledom

Population40.008 billion

CapitalNew London
LeaderThistle

Currencyeuro
Animallynx

The Borderlands of Thistledom is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Thistle with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of public education, suspicion of poets, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 40.008 billion Thistledoms are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New London. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Thistledom economy, worth an astonishing 10,163 trillion euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 254,044 euros, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 918,681 per year while the poor average 50,134, a ratio of 18.3 to 1.

Diplomats shake hands with their right and hide a poison dagger in their left, the only way to escape lengthy prison terms is in a body bag, the government tries not to listen to the people unless it absolutely has to, and the government invades its allies more than its enemies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Thistledom's national animal is the lynx, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Thistledom is ranked 194,405th in the world and 10th in Haiku for Fattest Citizens, with 9.51 Obesity Rate.

Top
1%
Largest Insurance Industry: 546thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 675thHighest Economic Output: 799thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,113thLargest Populations: 1,430thLowest Crime Rates: 1,654thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,784thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,954thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,985thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,987thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,021stMost Secular: 2,179thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,523rdLargest Mining Sector: 2,757thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,829thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,894thTop
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 3,836thHighest Average Incomes: 5,095thMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,880thMost Stationary: 7,023rdLargest Black Market: 7,626thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 8,865thSafest: 9,150thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 9,572ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 10,195thLargest Governments: 11,867thLargest Information Technology Sector: 11,893rdLargest Gambling Industry: 12,274thTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 15,821stLongest Average Lifespans: 16,265thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 17,249thMost Influential: 18,514thLargest Publishing Industry: 19,500thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 24,172ndMost Developed: 24,332ndSmartest Citizens: 25,573rdHealthiest Citizens: 25,622ndMost Conservative: 27,835th
Top
5%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Lowest Overall Tax Burden.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Lowest Overall Tax Burden.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Lowest Overall Tax Burden.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Lowest Overall Tax Burden.
  • : Following new legislation in Thistledom, the government invades its allies more than its enemies.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Lowest Overall Tax Burden.
  • : Thistledom's influence in Haiku fell from "Auxiliary" to "Ambassador".
  • : Thistledom's influence in Haiku rose from "Ambassador" to "Auxiliary".
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Lowest Overall Tax Burden.
  • : Following new legislation in Thistledom, the government tries not to listen to the people unless it absolutely has to.

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