by Max Barry

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The Borderlands of Thistledom

“Sit down, shut up, and drink your tea.”

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Ambassador

Location: Haiku

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendNuke ControlCards

Thistledom

Population32.335 billion

CapitalNew London
LeaderThistle

Currencyeuro
Animallynx

The Borderlands of Thistledom is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Thistle with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, sprawling nuclear power plants, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 32.335 billion Thistledoms are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New London. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Thistledom economy, worth a remarkable 8,192 trillion euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 253,372 euros, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 938,224 per year while the poor average 48,181, a ratio of 19.5 to 1.

The government is more interested in identifying problems than fixing them, chest pains are considered part of the dining experience in Thistledom restaurants, wealthy pranksters dump refuse on unsuspecting citizens from up high, and Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Thistledom's national animal is the lynx, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Thistledom is ranked 37,286th in the world and 11th in Haiku for Highest Poor Incomes, with 48,181.32 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 457thHighest Economic Output: 678thLargest Insurance Industry: 701stLowest Crime Rates: 1,097thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,119thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,149thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,156thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,160thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,362ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,496thMost Secular: 1,574thLargest Populations: 1,620thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,647thLargest Mining Sector: 1,727thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,153rdTop
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 2,296thMost Avoided: 2,319thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,369thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3,205thHighest Average Incomes: 3,235thLargest Black Market: 4,275thLargest Agricultural Sector: 4,490thMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,029thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,688thSafest: 8,019thMost Efficient Economies: 8,349thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8,737thLargest Governments: 8,809thLargest Information Technology Sector: 9,338thMost Stationary: 10,171stLargest Gambling Industry: 10,760thTop
10%
Longest Average Lifespans: 12,998thLargest Publishing Industry: 15,708thHealthiest Citizens: 17,565thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 18,137thMost Developed: 18,275thMost Influential: 19,865thMost Conservative: 21,761st
Top
5%
Most Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionMost Conservative: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Largest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Gambling Industry.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Gambling Industry.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Gambling Industry.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Stationary.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Wealthy Incomes.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Gambling Industry.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Gambling Industry.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Thistledom was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extensive Public Healthcare.
  • : Thistledom's influence in Haiku rose from "Diplomat" to "Ambassador".

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