The Novice Writer of Tinhampton is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Mayor Saffron Howard AM with a fair hand, and remarkable for its public floggings, pith helmet sales, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 9.804 billion Tinhamptonians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, although Education and Defense are also considered important, while Environment and Law & Order aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tinhampton. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Tinhamptonian economy, worth a remarkable 2,844 trillion dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 290,106 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Foragers descend on national cemeteries for 'all-you-can-dig-up' extravaganzas, footballers are doing aerobics in the sauna to build their hot weather endurance, ports have ground to a halt as no boat can reach them without trespassing, and soldiers are slaughtered in their thousands due to lack of training. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Tinhampton's national animal is the cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Tinhampton is ranked 22,022^nd in the world and 2^nd in Sophia for Most Extreme, scoring 38.09 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.