by Max Barry

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The Kẳrubĩc Nỗklănđic Sultanate of Tishilawe

“The only thing more sweet than revenge is slaughter” Karub al-ibn salibbub Petrinovoski-Qalam

Category: Authoritarian Democracy
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Djikolaa



Population3.613 billion

LeaderKarub al-ibn salibbub Petrinovoski-Qalam


The Kẳrubĩc Nỗklănđic Sultanate of Tishilawe is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Karub al-ibn salibbub Petrinovoski-Qalam with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory vegetarianism, anti-smoking policies, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate population of 3.613 billion Tishilawäike are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bắ'aak-nặngền. The average income tax rate is 69.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Tishilawäkhi economy, worth 160 trillion Ookaï'ặịoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Basket Weaving, Cheese Exports, Book Publishing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 44,403 Ookaï'ặịoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Homophobia is off the menu, the state auctions off combat drones to fund war reparations, Shing-daiongimeer has been named as Tishilawe's national religion, and unstable couples are known to break up over which one gets parental leave. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tishilawe's national animal is the Suukimaish, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Shing-daiongimeer.

Tishilawe is ranked 199,411th in the world and 1st in Djikolaa for Most Developed, scoring 50.66 on the Human Development Index.

Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,579thTop
Most Primitive: 5,249thMost Pacifist: 8,330thMost Inclusive: 9,772ndTop
Most Valuable International Artwork: 12,418thMost Cultured: 12,427thMost Income Equality: 13,338thMost Compassionate Citizens: 14,479thMost Beautiful Environments: 15,278thBest Weather: 15,806thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 16,164thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 16,514thNicest Citizens: 18,119thMost Authoritarian: 19,854thHealthiest Citizens: 19,869thLowest Crime Rates: 21,530thLargest Black Market: 22,014thMost Secular: 22,490th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Tishilawe was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Tishilawe was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Tishilawe was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Tishilawe was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Tishilawe's influence in Djikolaa rose from "Dominator" to "Hermit".
  • : Tishilawe's influence in Djikolaa fell from "Hegemony" to "Dominator".
  • : Tishilawe updated the World Factbook entry in Djikolaa.
  • : Tishilawe password-protected Djikolaa.
  • : Tishilawe altered the regional flag of Djikolaa.
  • : Tishilawe banned Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww from Djikolaa.


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