The Free State of Topid is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Alex Corvis with an even hand, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, ubiquitous missile silos, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 24.536 billion Topes enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crow City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Topian economy, worth a remarkable 7,025 trillion dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 286,320 dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,172,747 per year while the poor average 46,216, a ratio of 25.4 to 1.

Amusement park rides frequently collapse due to lack of maintenance, foreign leaders who don't applaud Alex Corvis's speeches are regarded as enemies of Topid, citizens complain about a burning sensation after bathing, and workers have their fruitcake and eat it too. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Topid's national animal is the Crow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Heartagrism.

Topid is ranked 208,987^th in the world and 86^th in St Abbaddon for Safest, scoring 3 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.